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Ask Ryan …


Dear Ryan,

My boyfriend keeps asking me to have anal sex with him. I don’t really mind saying no, but I just don’t understand why he is so into it. What is the male obsession with anal sex? -Thxs, Jennifer

The “obsession,” as you put it, is more of a curiosity and a desire for accomplishment. You have two types of guys: the virgin and the veteran. The guy who has never had anal sex will always experience a nagging curiosity until he’s done it. Along with this curiousity, however, comes a challenge. (Here comes the male ego.) If he overcomes the challenge, he gains a sense of fulfillment and power. The guy who’s done it before enjoys it and wants to do it again &#8217 but with someone new. It&#8217s not necessarily the act he craves, but the feeling of doing something a little raunchy. It’s new and different; nothing wrong with changing it up. But, hey, you never know: You might actually like it!

Hey Ryan,

I am dating this guy and things are going well and we are approaching the point of having sex. However, I want him to get tested for STDs. I’m not sure how to ask him to do this favor for me without offending him. How should I approach him? – KC

Keeping your hormones under control until you get this squared away is very impressive. If he really cares about you, he won’t mind getting tested. Don’t bring up the issue while you’re hooking up or anywhere near the bedroom. That could get very uncomfortable and he may get defensive. Suggest getting tested together, taking the pressure off him. Let him know that you trust him, but you just don’t trust other people. If you’re a priority in his life, getting tested shouldn’t be a difficult request. Plus, if not getting laid won’t send him to the doctor, get rid of him.

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