Sexpert Tracey Cox wants you to have fun, spontaneous and frequent sex all day long. Who has the time for all that action? Apparently, everyone.
Here are some “quick sex” rules from her latest book, Quickies: Sizzling Spontaneous Sex:
1. Accept responsibility for feeling sexy. Research shows that you can teach yourself to be more sexual — and to want sex with your partner more often. Train your brain to turn yourself on every day, in every situation. It’s not your man’s job to keep you turned on, it’s yours.
2. Use a lubricant. Adding a lubricant speeds up the female arousal process by instantly providing what her body usually takes a little while to provide naturally. Leave tubes of lubricant in secret hiding places. You can also buy little sachets of travel-size lubricant to carry with you.
3. Mix quickies with longer sex. If all you’re having is quick sex, you’re completely missing the point. A good sex life is balanced, and you need a variety of sex sessions to nurture all parts of your emotional and sexual selves.
4. Stop thinking sex = intercourse. Think of “sex” as anything that makes you feel sexy — teased as well as totally sated. Learn to enjoy parts of sex and parts of your bodies, rather than always devouring the whole thing.
5. Seize the moment — and don’t stress. Give up only having sex only when conditions are “perfect.” Much better to have a quick, passing grope that makes your blood surge for a few seconds and then leaves you glowing afterward.
6. Don’t be orgasm-focused. The more orgasms you have, the more easily orgasmic you will become. But to expect an orgasm every time you touch or arouse each other is both unrealistic and restrictive.
7. Learn from affair sex. Affairs don’t just provide sex — they provide exciting sex. The intensity in affairs is often caused by time limitations: enforce your own deadlines on sex sessions, and you’ll achieve a similar effect.
8. Choose your time wisely. People complain a lot about mismatched libidos. But often it’s a case of bad timing. If you’re a night person and he’s a morning, a little afternoon delight could solve both of your problems.