I’ve been seeing this guy for a while, but we’re both super busy so we can’t see each other as often as I’d like. I’m convinced that the relationship is only about sex, even though we’ve talked about this, and he says it’s not. How do I know if he’s telling the truth?
The better question to ask yourself is “was it just about sex when we first started sleeping together?” If it seemed rushed – he was pushy about it or didn’t give much credence to your desire to wait a bit longer – then the answer is yes. When the relationship gets up to a speed that’s uncomfortable for you, like now, it’s hard to slow it down. So if you feel like the relationship is going somewhere you don’t like, and fast (like being all about sex) then the only options are slow down or ditch the ‘ship. If he really cares about you and you tell him the way he’s expressing himself physically isn’t what you want, then he’ll stop in a heartbeat. Otherwise, kick the guy to the curb. Anyone who doesn’t see your heart as the most valuable thing in the world isn’t worth wasting your time on.