Negative Calories. Please sir, may I have some more?

When I heard that Coca-Cola was riding the green tea wave and coming out with Enviga, a drink which claims to burn calories, I was ready to hop on board.

I mean, I’ve always been a fan of zero calorie anything. But negative calories? Bring it on. Enviga is a sparkling green tea drink that’s supposed to increase calorie burning through those snazzy green tea extracts I’ve heard so much about in Shape, the lovely caffeine of my late night red-bulls, and other naturally active plant micronutrients.

I was ready to stock up on Enviga and finally order a pair of skin-tight Cheap Monday jeans straight from those slender Swedes. I mean, Cheap Monday jeans, are only $65 dollars. Plus, each can of Enviga is only about $1.50. What a deal. According to the lab coats over at Coca Cola, it takes 3 cans of the stuff to burn 100 calories.

What? So it’s going to cost this tutition strapped lady $4.50 to burn 100 calories. I may be a history major but I know a thing or two about numbers. If I have to burn 3,500 calories to lose just one pound of fat, then I’m going to have to drink…um…35 cans of Enviga with a price tag of $52. If I’m after a loss of five pounds, I can’t afford this Enviga business. It looks like I’m not going to be taking any breaks from my morning elliptical work-out any time soon, Enviga or no Enviga.

It’s a sacrifice worth making though. Just check out these jeans.

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