Oh My God, I’m Not Graduating in a Month

Although I’m happy for my friend Abigail who will be graduating in a month, I must speak for those of us in the opposite position. I will NOT be graduating in a month. I will not be graduating in one year, when I was scheduled to graduate. In fact, I have no idea when I will graduate from college.

Granted, I transferred, so I have some excuses– my credits got totally chewed up in the transition from college to college. I also dropped a class here and there and neglected to fulfill my gen-ed requirements in favor of taking poetry workshops. Hey, I was trying to find myself! And as a result, graduation has become a far-off dream.

College is no longer a staunch four-year endeavor; I know people here who are 25 and 26 and still consider themselves sophomores. All the more power to them. I’ve always been pretty ambitious and dedicated to the pursuit of achieving a quality education in exactly four years. So the thought– er– the reality of my becoming a super-senior is a bit frightening.

But then again, what’s the rush? College is the good life, right? And since I don’t have any valuable ideas for my post-grad life besides waitressing in Brooklyn, might as well embrace my forthcoming super-senior status and delay the inevitable for that much longer.

Condoms: Oh, the Variety!
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