I remember going into a store once, contemplating the purchase of a pair of Crocs.
All I remember is taking a look at the sheer brightness of the neon orange rubber and thinking, “Will I actually wear these things after one day?”
No. Probably not.
Yes, they’re comfy, they’re quirky and they’ve got that whole hippie vibe goin’ on, but…they’re ugly.
And being that, if I was gonna do it, I was gonna do it right – with an utterly ridiculous shade of electric green or cotton candy pink – they would match none of my clothes. I’d end up looking very, very silly, along with all the other silly Croc-footed people that jumped on the rubber-soled bandwagon this past year.
But the fad has taken it one step further on the scale of ridiculousness, with Cloggens.
Cloggens (like “clogs” – get it?) are basically just like Crocs, but with other materials and designs in them. Crocs that look like they’re made out of a pair of denim pants.
And their genius slogan?
“Shoes For Humans”
I don’t care how comfortable these things are, I hate them already and I’m sure they’ll be all over the place within the next month. The next big shoe fad. Ugh. Denim mixed with rubber? HIDEOUS. $50 for a pair? NO WAY. And “Shoes For Humans”? What the hell else would be wearing shoes?