Bill O’Reilly Thinks Lesbian Gangs Are Out to Get Him

Bill O’Reilly is either A) slightly insane or B) obsessed with saying things in front of a camera to get a reaction or C) both.

Last week, O’Reilly, with the help of “Fox crime analyst” Rod Wheeler, unearthed a supposed growing trend of Lesbian gangs who are apparently attacking men and sexually molesting young girls all over the United States.

“It’s a national underground network, if you will, Bill” Wheeler explained to the No Spin host, “of women who are lesbians.”

Two of these major groups evidently call themselves GTO (Gays Taking Over) and DTO (Dykes Taking Over), and aside from having no creativity when it comes to names, have a penchant for carrying “pink pistols” and forcing youths into their homosexual lifestyle.

Instead of questioning the facts and evidence of Mr. Rod “Completely Fabricated Story” Wheeler, O’Reilly agrees with everything he says, going so far as to suggest that “it makes sense…if you had lawless gay people, they would do this kind of thing.”

Yes, Bill. Lawless gay people would do this kind of thing. And you would know, you fantastic scholar of gay culture. Thank God you’re here to warn us.

…I’m going to go and lock my door now, in case any of my lesbian friends decide to stop over for a little pink pistol whipping.

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