The Good, the Bad, and the Funny: Craigslist Missed Connections

You’re on the subway reading the latest New York Times bestseller, when you look up to see a gorgeous stranger giving you the come-hither look. You lock eyes, flirting with raised eyebrows and half-smiles until one of you gets off (the subway—get your mind out of the gutter!) By the time you get home, you’ve planned the wedding and have named your future child Orange.

The only problem? You don’t even know this person’s name, let alone their phone number. Luckily for you, there’s Craigslist. The same place where you buy your used furniture and sex is also the place to go to for your “missed connections.” Just post your ad with details about where and when you saw your future soul mate/one night stand, cross your fingers, and hope they’re on Craigslist looking for you too.

I’ll admit—I may have perused the Missed Connections section in NYC in the past. And I’m always left feeling some mixture of hopefully, disturbed, and amused. A rundown of my favorite recent missed connections:

The Good:

F train- you told me I was beautiful as you exited the train – w4m

Around 11:30 this morning (Saturday, June 30th) –

you: orange polo, great smile, got on the train somewhere in downtown brooklyn

me: brown hair, polka dotted pink dress

Exchanged smiles and eye contact. I wish I wasn’t such a pussy and had talked to you at the time. What you said to me as you were getting off the train was very sweet and has kept me smiling for the rest of the day.

Black guy w/ tatts working out near the Manu Chao concert… – w4m – 22

I spent the entire time just watching in awe. I have never seen such a beautiful human. I really like your Shiva tatt on your ribs. There must have been 4 other women on line waiting that were all talking about you.I would literally drink the sweat off your body! I hope you read this!

The Bad:

I’m almost positive we made out on the street… – w4m – 26 (East Village)

….too bad I don’t remember any of it. I was in rare form that night, so sorry if I acted like a creep.

Married Blond, Stop and Shop Amityville, This Past Friday – m4w – 44

I passed you in produce. I’m 5’9″ 160, blue eyes, short brown hair. I checked you out and you smiled. Saw your wedding ring and I’m sure you saw mine. Never done this before but thought I’d ask what might have been on your mind.

The Funny:

You Dropped Your Bible and I Saw Your Thong – m4w

I was walking down the sidewalk and you, a very good looking woman from the backside, dropped what appeared to be the Holy Bible, bent to pick it up, and through no fault of my own, I saw your thong…and wow. I know Jesus spent some time with Mary Magdalene, and likely she wore next to nothing under those sackcloths, but I have to admit, your short skirt and fluorescent pink thong were way sexier, and made me want to get to “know” you, in the Biblical sense, of course. I’m not Christian, but if we can stick to the basic 10 Commandments and leave the Pope out of it, I think we’ll be ok. Oh, by the way, I was the very tall, tan, curly-haired, non-Christian gentleman walking behind you.

LIE 5pm near exit 60 on Saturday 6/30 – m4w – 28

I doubt that you will ever see this, but this is for that smoking HOT blonde who was going down on that guy as he was driving yesterday. That was so HOT! lol Me and my girlfriend followed you guys for a while. You looked amazing at it. You were in greyish Kia or Ford I think. You had pigtails and seemed to be about 30-40. Very hot!

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