Your Nipples are Inadequate

As much as I admire women who just roll out of bed and go, I’m not one of them. I wouldn’t call myself high-maintenance, but I do shave, pluck, wax, color, and lotion unapologetically on a regular basis.

It seems, however, that I’ve been leaving out something in my primping routine—nipple tinting.

Head to your local Sephora and you’ll find Benefit Benetint, a water(aka saliva)-resistant nipple tint to get your nipples that perfect shade of rosy pink.

The product, originally conceived in the seventies as cheek and lip tint for exotic dancers, is being remarketed, according to Benefit, to give women the “pert and fresh-looking” nipples they’ve been dreaming of. Not sure if it’s worth the purchase, considering that you tend to keep your girls covered up most of the day (I assume)?

“Even if you don’t show it off, you know they’re rosier and more perky,” Benefit spokeswoman Alison Haljun tells New York Magazine.

Perhaps putting on nipple makeup is no different than tweezing your eyebrows religiously or retouching your eyeliner 16 times over the course of a night out, but I think we’ve officially gone too far in making women feel inadequate.

If you’re worried about what your boyfriend thinks about the color of your nipples, perhaps it’s not your nipples that need work, but your head.

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