Who Is Alli Sims?

Alli Sims.

The fact that we know that name implies that we should know something about her other than the fact that she follows Britney Spears around like a stray puppy. Is she her cousin as others have reported? Her assistant (that would explain a lot)? Perhaps just a loyal and fame hungry pal?

Apparently, the Baton Rouge, Louisiana native has been singing her entire life and according to her official site (What? Don’t you have one?), the former sorority sister says;

“In 2003 I graduated from college and my roommate and I threw our stuff in a U-haul and moved to Los Angeles. I have been living and working here ever since…. We will see what my future has in store”.

It is still very unclear whether Alli and Britney come from the same gene pool, although Alli seems far too well spoken and physically coordinated to be a Spears. In fact, if Brit plans on doing any future Dateline interviews perhaps Alli could lend a hand by speaking off-camera while Spears moves her mouth like a puppet (What? We know the girl can lip synch).

But the truth is that Alli may not have the time to help out her “cousin” with an upcoming album produced by Britney’s former fling and music mogul J.R. Rotem. Could Britney be promoting the career of someone who may just replace her on the Billboard charts? Okay, it’s doubtful that Alli’s remake of “On My Own” from Les Miz is going places but you never know.

It seems that hanging out with Britney has gotten Alli involved in the K-Fed custody dispute as well. She was served just days ago with a summons to appear in court and give a statement about Britney’s unique parenting methods. We’re sure Sims has been well paid to keep them under wraps though although, if we were Britney Spears, we would be handing out Non-Disclosure agreements all around the hot tub.

Sadly, Britney is disillusioned into believing that she’s just like you and me y’all!

You won’t see Madonna traipsing through Rite Aid, Cher walking through Taco Bell, or Mariah Carey without make up. There must be apart of her that longs to be able to lead an average life, yet she is not your average person. With no shoes, bad extensions, sheer clothing and the shortest shorts, it seems that Britney forever embodies the real Daisy Duke.

Only time will tell whether Alli Sims (Spears?) will achieve pop star status…but in the meantime we can look forward to her on the edge of frame during Britney’s fumbles, trials and tribulations and perhaps one day we will focus on her own indescresetions and move her over to the center of the photo.

Meat Makes the Woman
Meat Makes the Woman
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