How to Avoid the Frosh 15 (Before It’s Too Late)

Everyone’s heard of it, and no, it’s not a first year’s urban legend. The Freshman Fifteen is all-too painfully real, and extremely hard to avoid.

However, if you’re smart enough to check up on CC before heading off to the most fabulous four years of your life, there’s still hope!

Just follow these guidelines and you’ll be happy to return home next summer with your washboard abs (or, you know, minimal love handles) still in tact.

1. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Don’t deem your shiny new meal card a free-for-all twenty-four hour all you can eat buffet. It’s NOT. Yeah you’re in the mood for pizza but ooh a burger might be nice and holy mother of Mary unlimited soft-serve? Before you know it your quick lunch between classes could feed an entire third-world country.

It’s okay. Focus. Eat what you’d eat at home. A sandwich on wheat bread. Some chicken breast and salad? Keep it healthy, the binge drinking will make up for the slice of chocolate cake you so wisely skipped.

2. Stay active you fat lard! Not only are you no longer working out five days a week for your high school cheerleading squad, but you’ll likely be lounging and snacking a lot more (I’ll get to that later, you’re not off the hook.) so it’s important to exercise! Not only do you probably have free membership to an on campus gym (take advantage of all that tuition you’re paying for mama’s sake!) but it’s a great way to meet all the cute muscley boys. Yummy!

Besides, you’re a scared confused freshman who finds yourself in a lecture hall with four-hundred other kids, none of whom you know. Staying fit is an awesome way to meet people. Set up an intramural soccer team with some of the kids on your floor or ask your cute RA if he wants to join you on a run to the campus pond (Scandalous!). What other excuse will you have to put on those spandex booty shorts?

3. Avoid midnight snacks. College on the late-night offers a plethora of ridiculously greasy food right at your fingertips, and a ton of places deliver til the wee hours on party nights. Don’t do it. Put DOWN the phone. Stock your minifridge with healthy (but still quite delectable!) snacks like chips and organic salsa or my personal favorite, mini pizzas with wheat crackers, cheese slices and pepperoni. Mmmmm.

I promise you, it’s never a good feeling to wake up hungover with a half-eaten calzone next to you in bed.

4. I’d tell you to cut down on drinking but I might as well get run over by a bus. Keep to light beer, and uh, yeah that’s all I got.

5. Beware the winter slump. Take it from someone who goes to school in a state where winter makes up the majority of both semesters, just because you’re in two sweaters a hoodie and a big furry coat doesn’t mean you’re not gaining weight underneath it all. Keep to your workout schedule and good eating habits.

Duh, don’t you know the best way to keep warm in those cold dark winter months is body heat? It’d be a shame to find yourself too insecure (or slightly horrified) to strip down and shack up with your favorite call boy.

Because trust me, he’s been working out.

  • 10614935101348454