Yale Junior Spreads His Laziness Around

Kids in the Ivy Leagues must be huge brains, right? They must love to challenge themselves. Relish the competition and the long hours spent in the library spent pumping out the next big thing in organic chemistry.

Or maybe they’re just as lazy as everybody else.

The snarky little devils at Gawker recently stumbled across an email from a Yale junior named “Nick” which details (and I mean details. This is the longest email I’ve ever read in my life.) all the classes on campus that enable one to coast. Basically, “Nick” is all about helping his fellow students get an A without trying.

“Hopefully, all of us will be on the same page [regarding classes] so we won’t have to worry about having section with all those randos we have never met who talk funny.” Nick types in his email. “I mean, don’t you feel good when you show up to class on day one and you see a lot of baseball caps and blue and gray warmups. I know I do. I know I am home – at Yale, trying with all my might to not overexert myself.”

He goes on being hilarious (or douchey, depending on your humor gage) while decoding one particularly easy PolySci course entitled Public Opinion:

Adam F Simon is probably the easiest professor at Yale…Basically, Adam F will complain to you about how network tv is retarded, people are retarded, and tell you random anecdotes about his dog, family, time at ucla, or his next book. You will know a lot of about current events if you show up. You will get an A even if you dont. This class generally migrates directly to the varsity weightroom [sic] right after letting out.”

After reading his 2,553 word email (written while drinking a snifter of scotch and lounging in a pair of cashmere boxers, perhaps?) , I can only imagine what “Nick” is like. I’m sure he’ll be a politician someday. …That is, if his trust fund isn’t large enough to sustain him for the rest of his life.

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