We’ve all been there…right?? Getting dumped? It’s happened to us all? Yes?
…please say yes, so I don’t feel horribly sh*tty.
My mom told me over the phone today that everybody goes through the process of being totally rejected by the person you’ve been in a relationship with and were totally into. Breaking up. It’s normal. It happens.
Maybe so, mom, but it still SUCKS.
After breaking up with my FSU boyfriend of over three years (2+ years in college, 1+ year long distance – don’t do it, ever EVER ever) I had some flings, a rebound or two, and fell into a new, New York City relationship after only knowing this new guy for three teeny tiny weeks.
I was totally into him, totally infatuated, and mistook that googly-eyed “OMG, he’s so hot and dreamy” feeling for the L-Word.
Anyway, I jumped in way too fast and fell way too hard before actually getting to know the guy and being able to make a fully thought-out decision. Again – BIG mistake.
The first month or so was sweet, sweet bliss. We were becoming closer, you know…buddies, confidants, lovaaaaaahs…it was so exciting and fresh and wonderful, as the beginning of any relationship should be.
But about a week and a half ago, the excitement kind of…..suddenly wore off. Prematurely, I think, because I believe that that “honeymoon period” should last a hell of a lot longer than a measly month. If it doesn’t, something is definitely wrong. And yes, Wikipedia defines the honeymoon period as having “greater than typical joy and lesser than typical friction.”
Joy? Friction? Try a beauteous rainbow followed by an absolute emotional sh*t storm.
So anyway, he started acting weird pretty much out of nowhere; I dunno if it was the relationship becoming more real and him getting freaked out (as men tend to do), both of our “beginning-of-the-relationship-version-of-me” disappearing acts as our true selves came out to play…or if he just started to lose feelings for me altogether – in the end, he didn’t explain himself.
But he did dump me after two months – 3 weeks of which were us hanging out pre-relationship, and the last five weeks in an actual committed….thing.
Here’s how it went down, yesterday, over the phone, in a matter of three minutes. Keep in mind I never saw this coming and my friends were even shocked to hear the news. Prepare to feel really bad for me:
Me: “Wow, I finally got you on the phone. Great.”
Him: “I don’t think we should do this anymore.”
Me: “What? Why?”
Him: “I dunno. I’m just not feelin’ it.”
Me: “Okay….what happened?” (cut to me thinking, you certainly didn’t seem to not be ‘feelin’ it’ when I saw you two days ago and everything was fine and dandy, but whatever….)
Him: “I dunno. This just isn’t going anywhere. I don’t want to lead you on.”
Me: “Uhm. Lead me on? Okay…..well….”
Him: “Um, do you want to keep talking about this?”
Me: “No, I guess not….I mean, well….did I do something wrong?”
Him: “No, it’s just….I don’t know.”
Me: “Okay, well……”
Him: “I guess I’ll…..talk to you…..later?”
Me: “No. You don’t have to say that.”
Him: “Okay.” (OKAY?!? D*ck!!!!)
And that was it. Dumped! Quick and not painless in the least.
Yes, I know, two months is not a long time to be all bent out of shape, but all that time spent blabbering on the phone, going through the endless dating/interview process, all the time spent hanging out, impressing each other’s friends, laughing, sexy time, blah blah blah……all of it, done and over within a matter of seconds, and he didn’t even flinch.
It’s so weird how people come in and out of our lives so quickly. The worst is when you’re all excited about something and it just doesn’t work out, and there’s nothing you can do about it; you have no control over what the other person is thinking or what their actions will be. But all the hurt I feel now will most likely be gone in a couple weeks and it will be like nothing extreme (which is what it feels like now) even happened.
Yesterday was hell, but it ended with one of my girlfriends coming over to talk, and just when I wanted to cry, she brought out a six pack of beer and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and we spent an hour laughing about how guys can be so extremely f*cked up sometimes…
…turned out, even with being dumped, not such a bad day after all.