Hardest Partiers of Rock? Sort of…

Spinner.com came out with their Top 21 Hardest Partiers of Rock recently. We are HUGE fans of Spinner and usually they are right on point. My mom told me that every good relationship has its ups and downs, and Spinner and I are having a lovers’ spat right now.

Here are Spinner’s Top 5 mistakes:

5. Stevie Nicks is a harder partier than all of Van Halen? Wow…Stevie Nicks couldn’t hold David Lee Roth’s sweaty, vodka-stained jockstrap. Van Halen – even just David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen – drank, smoked, snorted and screwed their way across the country and out of millions in possible tour revenues by being f-d up to perform.

But you know what…OK, maybe Fleetwood Mac knew how to ball, what do I know?! Even my parents thought Fleetwood Mac were gay.

4. I am a more hardcore partier than Britney Spears. In the financial world, people refer to “old money” and “new money.” Brit-Brit is new money, yet she scored higher on Spinner’s list than Iggy Pop, one of the oldest money Legends of Rock.

Iggy has been hammered and high since before Britney was conceived in her mom’s broken down Ford. Mr. Pop has been in and out of rehab more times than Brit has worn a thong. She’s a slave to attention, not partying hard.

Read the rest of the story and see  who made the list after the jump.

3. Amy Winehouse gets drunk and high, calls a hooker to smoke with her, and then gets into scratching fight with her husband. Waylon Jennings snorted over $1500 a day (in the 1970s) on coke, with a group of hookers in a cheap hotel – all of this while Willie Nelson was sitting 20 feet away smoking pot and playing his guitar. Amy has not only just started being a junkie, but even worse – she can’t handle a high. Either tone it down or amp it up, Miss Winehouse/Little Miss Hipster – ease up on the woe-is-me ballads and find a metal guitarist to help you pick up the tempo.

2. ODB higher than the Rolling Stones and Sid Vicious?! What What WHAT?! Look at Keith Richards?! He died 27 years ago, but the whiskey in his blood stream is keeping his body animated. Yet the Stones are lower ranking than ODB, Courtney Love and Pete Doherty? I am sorry, but who the fuck is Pete Doherty? Sid died at 21 after a huge 10 day drug binge – call me after 10 days of hard work Mr. Doherty.

1. If partying rockers were a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors, GG Allin would be a cinder block. For those of you who don’t know, GG Allin was from a band called the Murder Junkies. He is the most hardcore rocker of all time, no questions asked.

Imagine being so high and drunk that you say, “Hey, maybe I should shit and piss on stage, and then beat myself in the head with an aluminum can ’til I bleed?” That in a vomit smelling nut-shell is the life and career of GG Allin, and warrants him being the #1 Hardest Partying Rocker of ALL TIME.

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Man ‘Tries’ to be a Woman, Ends up a Douche
Man ‘Tries’ to be a Woman, Ends up a Douche
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