Beauty Pageants Are Full of Sh*t

Why on earth anyone watches beauty pageants other than to tune in and pray that the contestants fall on their asses is beyond me.

But to actually be in a beauty pageant? Nooo, but thank you.

The NYTimes reports that these contests are much more superficial than you think, and that’s not saying a whole lot. It turns out that many of these girls are duped into thinking they’re gonna win a ton of money and scholarships of some sort, but they never reap the educational or financial benefits.

Ashley Wood, a pissed-off ex Miss USA who never got the money she actually won, said,

You are talking about an organization that is promoting itself as the largest scholarship provider for women in the world….When contestants try to collect their funds, they encounter one obstacle after another.”

These problems have something to do with all of the local and state pageants that are scattered around the country being tied under the national pageants, and apparently, local pageant winners hardly ever collect – the states could take these local pageants to court, but they have limited control over them in the first place, and to even do that would cost more than what these girls are actually owed.

One girl was even told after winning a pageant that instead of the scholarship she was promised, she could just take home some gowns!! Are you kidding me?

Like this makes up for a big wad of CASH?

These things are a crock, and even though I’d be pissed as hell if I got all dolled up and walked across a stage 50 times wearing Vaseline on my teeth to score fame, recognition, money, a scholarship, whatever, these girls have it coming.

I mean, come on – they’re not the brightest bulbs to begin with, this we know.

The tragedy?

In America’s theme of rewarding stupid people, that same girl who wants to “help the Iraq” is reportedly now in talks to make $25,000 a day with Trump’s modeling company. Good luck with that, you really deserve it.

In related beauty pageant news, Rachel Smith (you know, the girl who tripped on stage – wanna see it again?) said, in regards to what she wants to do with her Miss USA title at the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network event last week,

I always wanted to be a reporter — maybe some TV. Who knows? Some serious news — but some modeling, too….I just don’t want to end up like Katie Couric. I want people to take me seriously.”

WOW. Yes, now everyone will be sure to take you seriously. Not ending up like Katie Couric is the least of your worries.

These girls keep getting more and more annoying every time one of them pops up in the news, so it kind of makes me glad that the winners of the smaller, more local pageants aren’t getting paid. Maybe it will discourage them from entering the national contests. That way we can save ourselves from hearing about such naive and disillusioned takes on the world.

I weep for the future.

Heidi Montag Channels Britney Spears
Heidi Montag Channels Britney Spears
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