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Cringe-Worthy: The Post Break-Up Phone Call


Why the hell would you call your ex?

You just broke up a few weeks ago!

Your friends are saying you broke up for a reason, right?

It’s better left this way.


Yea, sometimes you do break up for a reason. And sometimes, your gut tells you that you are better off without him, as scary as it may be to force yourself to move on in the scary world of single people.

But sometimes, it doesn’t feel right after a break up. Or you didn’t get that closure you needed to move on. Or, you just want him back, plain and simple, can’t live without him and don’t want to.

But in order to get him back, you gotta reach out.

That’s where the Post Break-up Phone Call comes in. Get ready for some uneasy awkwardness, stuttering and lots and lots of underarm sweating!

And that’s before you even pick up the phone.

I don’t know if it’s the website for desperate people everywhere, or a website for the ultimate romantics, but has some tips and advice for people who are in post break-up limbo. Regarding the phone call, here are the highlights, which I’ll create my own takes on:

“Let the Dust Settle.” DO NOT attempt to win him back, like, seven minutes after you break up. Emotions are still flying. You need to give it time, because you never know – after a week or so, you may not even want him back at all! Maybe you finally talked to that hot guy in your class who always looked over at you and maybe that was enough to help you realize there are more guys out there. Who knows? But calling him too quickly could be baaaad, so don’t risk it.

“Create a Plan of Action.” To me, this means sitting down and literally writing up rough drafts of what I’m going to say, reading it fifty times, proofreading it, editing it with a red pen, reading it out loud and practicing the tones in my voice to really get that impact. Yea, I’m crazy, but it’s certainly a plan of action. If you wing it, you could end up sounding like a moron and he won’t buy it.

“Be Positive.” Basically, DON’T CRY. He needs to hear that you are being a strong woman who is simply trying to get back what she rightfully deserves. You could be balling inside, but don’t show it. Be firm. Be rational. Be calm. Be positive! Yippy!

“Give It Time.” You should be able to feel out his reaction within this initial phone call, and you’ll know whether or not you’ll be able to eventually weasel yourself back into his life afterwards. It may not be right away, but you know him well enough to tell if he’s about to bend. If he calls you any of these names, and/or laughs into the receiver and hangs up, it’s better to leave things broken. For now. Maybe he’ll bend later.

Whatever the case, don’t make the Post Break-Up Phone Call unless you’re ready to accept the outcome, good or bad.

After going through a break up of my own with my longterm, long distance relationship ex, I myself picked up the phone after letting the dust between us settle and called him. And even though my intention wasn’t really to “win him back,” it feels good to be talking again and seeing where things end up.

Follow your gut. Be strong. Or find this girl. She seems like she can really help.