It’s Wedding Season in The Hills!

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Last night was difficult for me. Not only did I have to work late, do my laundry and pay some bills (ew!), but I had to figure out a way to watch The Hills while also watching a friend from college compete on The Bachelor! So much drama, so little time.

Well, in the end The Hills won out (though I did manage to see my old friend fold herself into a pretzel to woo the bachelor…what!?) and it was one jam packed episode! Who knew so many things could go down in 23 minutes?!

I don’t even know where to begin.

Perhaps we could discuss the Whitney work debacle where she was so hungover from partying with the band that she couldn’t seem to convince one of the guys to change his pants.

Or Heidi and Spencer’s wedding woes; she spends her days shopping for dresses, registering for uber expensive things she’s never going to need (because they are always eating at that crappy Mexican place) and picking out the perfect wedding location.

Spencer spends his days not telling his parents he gave his anorexic girlfriend a fake engagement ring and pretending the whole engagement never really happened.

Or, I could skip all that and get to the really big news rolling through The Hills: Jason’s engagement! And why shouldn’t he be engaged? He is, after all, completely stable in his life having just left rehab and dealing with his multiple arrests for public intoxication and assault. Why not jump right into a really serious relationship thereby completely setting himself up for a fall from which he will most likely hit the bottle/do lines in the bathroom just to make himself feel better only to scream racial slurs at yet another security guard and end up right back where he started?

Not to mention the fact that his girlfriend is a not so pretty Nordic looking LC knockoff. With terrible blonde hair and even worse eyeliner.

Great idea, Jason.

Poor L.C. Her life reminds me of that episode of Friends when Chandler makes a New Year’s resolution not to make fun of other people and then everyone comes in doing the most ridiculous things (Phoebe teaches Joey guitar, Ross buys leather pants) and he just can’t control himself. It just seems that everyone in Lauren’s life makes the worst decisions and she just has to sit back and bite her tongue, knowing that her opinions can (and will) get her into trouble.

Maybe it’s time people started listening to Lauren (or at least reading into that big eyed glare she gives when she’s trying oh-so-hard not to say anything mean); she seems to be the only voice of reason in all of L.A. Maybe then Whitney wouldn’t have gotten that ass whooping from Lisa Love. And Heidi wouldn’t be ready to walk down the aisle with someone who doesn’t want to walk down with her. And maybe then Jason would be living a clean life instead of walking down the path to a drunken/high fiasco of a marriage.

But then again, LC isn’t always the best decision maker. Just check out scenes from next week when she hits the sack with one Mr. Brody Jenner. Wahoo!

COLLEGECANDY Writer
COLLEGECANDY Writer
When my mom moved me into my dorm freshman year she left me $65 to buy a humidifier. I took that money and bought a pair of heels because I can sleep without damp air blowing in my face, but I can't rock a humidifier with a hot black mini.