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Gossip Girl: One Bitchin’ Brunch!

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What do you do on a Sunday morning when you’re seriously hungover and jonesing to dish on last night’s juicy gossip from the Kiss on the Lips party?You brunch.

And, obvs, when the elite mix brunch with alcohol with DRAMA shit goes down. And, oh did it go down.

With the Serena and Dan monumental hand holding last week, there were sure to be some significant hand moments in episode 2. And oh, did they deliver.

There was the wave that Dan gave Serena at the end of their date. I KNOW. A wave? Come on, Dan!

Serena was perplexed as well. And Dan felt he had blown all chances so he ends up at the Palace waiting for Serena to explain why he was so nervous and waved instead of totally sucking her face.

Meanwhile, Serena goes over to Blair’s for their requisite Sunday morning caps, croissants and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Blair lets Serena in on the news that she knows about Serena and Nate totally DOING IT on a bar at a wedding a year ago. (Classy, Serena!)

So, the whole gang ends up back at the Palace for Chuck’s Dad’s benefit brunch and Blair is not happy to see Serena there, who of course, brought Dan along to pad the horrific event anyways. They all end up in some dramatic circle scuffle where Blair totally tells Dan that Serena is a backstabbing whore and Dan’s like, “WTF bitch? I’m outtie.

It would have been more awesome, though, if instead of Dan “realizing” Serena was just like the rest of the kids she used to be “friends” with he was like, “I like my women skanky!” and totes took Serena out of the party.

Instead they all ended up alone, Jenny staring at herself as she tries on one of Blair’s mother’s dresses that Blair gifted her (is Jenny the next to join the Blair Bitch posse?), Dan contemplating love on his badass Williamsburg fire escape and Serena throwing away her old cellie complete with BFF pics of days ggone by.

Sigh.

The only people not alone at the end of the day?

Blair and Nate who are found snuggling and having their own uber significant hand-holding moment where his gesture says “If you don’t forgive me my dad’s totally going to kill me” and her’s says “I’m lost and alone without you even though you totally f*cked my best friend“.

Serena’s mom is totally dating Chuck’s dad on the sly, by the way. Even though (like father, like son) he can’t seem to get rid of his 25 year old floozies.

And then there’s Chuck. Who I’m pretty sure is the only one to really have the right idea about it all anyways. The guy knows there isn’t much besides booze and bitches. Oh and his signature scarf.

Oh, Chuck you’re such a manwhore. I love you.

Until next week!

COLLEGECANDY Writer