How To Deal: Christmas Dinner

Don’t get me wrong, Christmas at home is wonderful. The big bed, the stocked fridge, the friends from high school you haven’t seen…it’s all amazing.

But then comes the fateful day. The day. When all of your immediate and extended family gather ’round and gang up on you, their little college student, and bombard you with questions you never, ever want to answer.

From experience, most dinners tend to play out the same way with the same questions getting thrown around for almost anyone who considers themselves an undergrad, so let College Candy help out this year with a few questions you may be asked (with the answers included)!

1) So, how’d you do this semester?

The old grades question. Here’s the deal: if you didn’t spice up the week with Wednesday night study sessions at the local pub, and therefore have good news to report, then you’re in the clear!

Not so lucky this time? Deny. Deny. Deny. Obviously, you’re not denying the fact that this semester happened, but make sure your parents know you’re looking for your grades, they’re just not available yet. Blame the computer, blame your campus’s network, blame crappy professors. Anything to hold off reporting that C- you got in Bio.

Because nothing ruins Christmas faster than pissed off parents.

2) Do you have a boyfriend yet?

Thanks Dad for reminding me that yes, I’ve gone another semester completely alone. This question is asked only to embarrass you in front of your brothers and cousins, so your best bet is to smile and respond, “not really”.

It keeps them for snickering for too long.

3) So, how’s that internship/job/other obligation you have that you try to forget by drinking beer going?

Ugh, work. You’ve finally managed to escape it for a few weeks, but the entire time you’re home you’re going to be forced to talk about it. There’s no avoiding this one. Your parents are going to want to make sure you’re going to get a job by the time you graduate and your grandmother wants something to brag about when she goes home, so it’s time to embellish.

Much like a job interview, you have to suck it up, smile, and talk about the millions of reasons “it’s going really well”.

When it comes down to it, Christmas dinner is going to be predictible in a few ways, so don’t be too nervous. One, you’ll get it over with early because everyone I know is finished with “dinner” by 5 and dessert by 5:30. By 6, you can be out the door and on your way to intoxication.

Two, after the initial questioning, everyone will be busy talking about things that make no difference to us, so keep your head down and eat. Unless you want Grandma asking why you didn’t clear your plate.

And three? It’s Christmas! So relax and try your best to enjoy!

At least you’re not in Bio…

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