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Questions About Sex? Just Ask Grandma

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Thanks to about a foot of snow, I spent my Saturday night curled up on my couch with a remote and a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. I know I joke about spending my life in my living room, but lately (maybe it’s the new boy? Or the new birth control?) I have actually been looking forward to going out on the town.

But, Mother Nature had her way with me and I had no choice but to throw on some sweats and settle down in front of the TV.

Unfortunately, my DVR was empty and my DVD collection looked totally unappealing. My only choices for entertainment for the evening were 1) creating some new Facebook albums, 2) updating my Tumblr, or 3) relying on cable TV to get me through the night.

#1 and #2 only took me a few minutes, so at 8:00PM I flipped on the TV and began my quest for something to watch. And that is when I found Talk Sex with Sue. Imagine setting up a camera, a phone and a series of sex toys in your grandmother’s living room and you pretty much have Talk Sex.

Sue Johanson, the show’s host, is a 77 year old nurse and sex educator in Toronto, Canada. Her show, which airs live on the Oxygen network, mostly consists of people from across the country calling in to ask personal sexual questions.

And I mean personal.

Some of the questions I witnessed last night ranged from “Is a nipple ring going to cause problems when I breast feed?” to “Can I get an STD when my boyfriend ejaculates in my ear?” (Seriously, that was a question) Someone even called in to ask if it was bad for her vagina to have three penises in it at once. AT ONCE!

I don’t know how Sue, a cute little bubbie-like woman, became the expert on these topics, but apparently she is because the calls keep coming. And she never laughs at or judges any of ‘em.

The best parts of the show, though, are “Hot Stuff Bag of Goodies” and “Sex Position of the Week.” Not only are these entirely educational, but watching an old lady describe and wave around a butt plug really is truly indescribable.

I never thought I would say this, but everyone should be watching this grandma dole out sex advice. It might just be the best programming on TV today.

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  • COLLEGECANDY Writer
    When my mom moved me into my dorm freshman year she left me $65 to buy a humidifier. I took that money and bought a pair of heels because I can sleep without damp air blowing in my face, but I can't rock a humidifier with a hot black mini.