Spearsgate – Marriage or Jail?

As if the media hasn’t spent enough time ravaging the metaphorical colon of people across the internet and TV, we arrive at the next stage in celebrity gossip evolution (or Creative Design if you are from Kansas)…the legal battle.

So here it is: Casey Aldridge, a.k.a. Little Spears’ Babby-daddy, is either 17, 18 or 19. Unfortunately, white trash don’t keep good records and for some reason there is a some discussion as to how old he is. People are looking at his MySpace page, which has him at 17, and also his old school records that have him at 19. However, the latter records come from his Principal who is trying to hold the school yearbooks to make extra money, so it is about as trustworthy as the Mitchell Report.

My roommate is pre-law, so here is the $.50 tour:

– if he is 17, he is just another genius who knocked up a Spears girl and won the “K-Fed Lottery”

– if he is 18, there are some state statutes that would allow for a 2 year differentiation between consent and statutory rape

– if he is 19, he is f**ked

In most cases, it is up the parents to determine whether or not to press charges. In THIS case however, since the victim is preggers the District Attorney can deem that the “attack” has endangered the victim. So essentially, it doesn’t matter how much the model parenting figures, the Spears adults, protest – Casey could be going away for a while if history repeats itself.

I, for one, am eager to see how this goes because I remember a young man named Genarlow Wilson. His case was a little different because it was a consensual oral sex, which in white trash terms mean that no one got pregnant…ohhhhh yeah…I forgot! Genarlow was black and didn’t hook up with a celebrity. Don’t get me wrong, neither one should spend a minute in jail – but you have to be fair about your treatment.

All this talk aside, the new twist is that they just announced that Casey and Jamie Lynn are getting married. Can’t sue your husband for statutory rape! Ohhhhhhhhh…the American Legal System!

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