Get Out of That Relationship Rut!


For the fourth weekend in a row, you’re settling in on your couch at exactly 7:03pm with your man and your Chinese take-out, mindlessly channel-surfing.You’ll pass out on his shoulder in the middle of the second Friends re-run you watch, waking up to his snoring at 2:15am, Lo Mein container still in your hands. You’re officially in a relationship rut.

You’ve passed the point of finding it completely precious that you can just “do nothing” together, and the way he breathes is beginning to get on your nerves.

Before you blame him, try changing up your relationship routine and get the spark back with these ideas:

Plan date nights

Both of you got yourselves into this rut, which means both of you need to make an effort to get yourselves out. Open up your calendars and each pick a weekend you’re both free.

Each of you is responsible for planning one all-day secret date. Try to get out of the routine that most couples get into—centering their relationship around going out for meals. Take a morning walk and slap him together a sandwich for lunch before seeing a play in the evening, but try not to make “date night” a gorge-fest at your favorite restaurant for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Get physical

Pick a sport or physical activity that neither of you regularly play. Fall all over each other on the ice-skating rink, coach each other up the wall at your local rock-climbing center (check out your school campus for this), or take a break-dancing class together.

Let loose

Even if neither of you are crazy party animals, a night on the town can do you both some good. Go dancing and drinking, and remind yourselves how much fun you can have together when you’re not fighting over the remote and glaring at each other across the table at the same restaurant you’ve gone to every weekend for the past two years.

Play 20 Questions

Remember that point at the beginning of your relationship where you couldn’t run of inane questions to ask one another, and you gushed to your friends about his favorite color and what it means?

At some point along the way, we stop asking questions even though we keep growing and changing. So start asking questions. Hop in the car, take a long drive to nowhere, and take turns asking each other things you don’t know yet.

Pucker up!

When is the last time you had a hot and heavy makeout session? Invite him over to “watch a movie” and plant one on him. Kiss, grope, neck—whatever it is that you kids do these days! Make out for the sake of making out instead of a quick peck goodbye or a quick peck on the way to the bedroom.

A Relationship Revelation
  • 10614935101348454