I met his guy awhile ago, and we’ve hung out a couple of times with friends, but we just recently went on a “real” date. We slept together after that first date, but I like him, so now I’m afraid I’ve screwed up. Is it really that bad to have sex on the first date?
It’s not bad, but if you’re going to make some intentional decisions to get off on the right foot, then sleeping with someone on the first date isn’t one of them. Yes, even if the chemistry is that good. Flaubert (old French author) believed that anticipation is the purest form of pleasure – and the most reliable.
In the final chapter of the Sentimental Education, he writes about two old friends sitting around remembering the best thing that never happened to them. Flaubert said the things that happen to you invariably disappoint, the things that never happen would never dim, never fade. We’ll always remember them fondly.
So, put off the sex as long as you want. Not only will the anticipation make him want you that much more, but it will be a form of pleasure all it’s own. Not to mention you’ll make Flaubert a very proud man.