Advice From a Bartender: Get Your Drink On Safely

It’s about 8 AM on a Sunday and you’re half-awake, rolling over in bed to get comfortable again.

Uhh, where am I? Sh*t, who is this guy? Where is my underwear?

Another blacked-out night on the town. No shame, I’ve had my fair share, but from time to time I wonder if I had equal chances of waking up in a ditch in Jersey. As a former bartender (and current bar-hopper) I’ve gotten to know a lot of people and their drinking habits. As a result I picked up a lot of ways to keep the boozin’ under control.

There is obviously the option to watch the clock and literally make sure you don’t exceed your alotted dph (drinks per hour). 12 oz. of beer, 4 oz. of wine, and 1 oz. of 80 proof liquor all take about an hour for your body to metabolize, so you can go ahead and do the math on that versus how long you plan on drinking and how good you want to feel.

This won’t work at a party, but if you’re at a bar, do not open a tab. It’s a fabulous way to drink too much and blow more money than you intended. This is my personal downfall. I recommend using cash. You can bring a limited amount, forcing you to stop when it’s gone. Although, if you make the bartenders run your card every single time you buy a round, they might stop serving you anyway.

I once had a customer who always wore bangles. She would start with them all, six or seven I think, on one wrist. For every drink she had, she would switch a bangle to the other wrist. When she ran out, it was time to stop drinking. I thought that one was much more clever than the guys who tally their shots on their arm with a sharpie.

Things NOT to do:
* Don’t appoint someone as your babysitter. You will be wasted and then get mad at said babysitter when they try to cut you off.

* Avoid all drinking games, beer bongs, and shotgun booths. This should go without saying.

* Don’t let anyone refill your drink before you finish it. You will NEVER be able to keep track of how much you are drinking. Trust me.

And lastly, just practice common sense; when the world starts spinning, step back, listen to your body, and start chugging water.

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