People Still Watch Miss America? Why?

So another Miss America pageant has come and gone without anyone really noticing.

Maybe it’s because we have other fantastic outlets to judge people, such as, say, Rock of Love, I Love New York, and the classic and oh-so-classy Flavor of Love (I’m detecting a “love” theme here, VH1).

Unpredictability is what sells, any idiot can see that. So in order to boost ratings, TLC made its own reality show about this year’s Miss America contestents, Miss America: Reality Check, which shows us that shockingly, some of these girls aren’t so bright.

I mean, that’s surprising, right? A not smart hot girl. Wow. And isn’t it just a little humorous that they can’t even bother to be creative with a title to try and pull viewers?

Reality Check is a little too formulaic for the typical American audience. We get it already. 50 Barbies prance around in eveningwear and bikinis, trying to show us that their baton-twirling or vocal stylings can change the world. They get narrowed down, the 4 prettiest, blondest Southern girls stay on and Texas always wins. Those of us who live in the North ponder what our lives could have been had we been born to drawl and drink sweet tea, and then quickly remember that it’s kind of like a foreign country and snap out of it.

This year’s winner was Miss Michigan, Kristen Haglund. That’s really the only thing I heard and remotely cared about. Finally, some good representation from the mitten… or is it?

I’m sure Miss Haglund is decent at life, and I like the idea of the midwest producing normal, pretty people, but come on. There are hot girls everywhere. It’s not like she’s curing cancer. She just happened to convince the same ten judges that she was the hottest of fifty people.

Can’t we set this thing up in the form of a job interview? Because really, that’s what it is, or at least what it’s supposed to be. A year-long “job” of hyping charities and wearing pantsuits. Maybe, instead of suggesting to the youth of America that looks are key to being successful, we could (gasp) show how hard work and intelligence are what actually pay off.

If not intelligence, then innovation, creativity, anything at all? Instead of, say, commenting that had Miss Iowa hit the gym a few more times, she’d have dominated in swimwear?

Personally, I think we’d all benefit more from a VH1 reality show that has nothing to do with love, or scantily clad girls at all:

Best Week Ever marathon, anyone?

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