Yo Adrienne, I’m Making Bank Off Sequels!

That’s right. Sylvester Stallone, who’s like 60 years old or something, has just inked a deal to star in two more films with his Rambo producers.
Strangely enough, Stallone’s two new (yet so old) films “Rocky Balboa” and “Rambo” actually did well at the box office, which means people still want to see this dude kick major ass with either his fist or a giant gun.
While I’m sure Stallone will create more movies based around testosterone and sparse dialogue (say what you want about him, but the guy understands his limitations), I doubt either of them will solve the burning question I’ve had since I was forced to watch the first Rambo movie:
What’s with the bandana?!
I mean it. Look. In First Blood, Rambo is all pissed because he’s a vet and no one gives him any respect and everyone is wicked mean to him and chaises him up into the mountains and he has no choice but to kill and maim like 500 guys. That logic I could follow. But where the movie lost me, where it totally got unbelievable, is when Rambo rips a piece of cloth off his already falling apart shirt and ties it onto his head for that trademarked bandana.
There’s no reason for it!!
Listen to me! There isn’t! It’s not like his hair was in his eyes. It’s not like a bandana allows your brain more circulation! Hell, when the military is after you, you don’t have time for anything except crafting Vietnam-esque spike traps with your bare hands! There’s no time for fashion, Rambo!!
…And yet. The bandana…Remains.
The only way Stallone will make me happy is if one of his new movies is all about why he loves performance-enhancing drugs (and why they’re so safe!! So natural!!), and the other one is all about the bandana. Rocky’s Bandana, they could call it.
Explain the bandana, Stallone, and I’ll love you and your crazy old muscles forever.

Girls Denied Insurance Because of Online Revelations
Girls Denied Insurance Because of Online Revelations
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