Why Did I Think I Was A Porn Star Last Night?

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Alcohol can do a whole lot of things to us. For most girls, there is one sure thing it seems to do every time we’ve had way too much to drink:

It convinces us that we are sexy. That we are…SO sexy.

And a wasted girl who is convinced that she is…SO sexy…is pretty much a recipe for soon-to-come regret. With the slightest instigation, whiskey shots can transform themselves into public make out sessions. And public make out sessions can even sooner become private bedroom parties where you are, invariably, SURE that you’re Jenna Jameson.

And while your ass in the air is likely a sight to be seen and your “dirty talk” is welcomed, (albeit much more hilarious than sensual); you are not Jenna Jameson.

Jenna Jameson is not a trashed party girl, slurring her words and stumbling on her own feet. Jenna Jameson is paid (very handsomely) for her work. She comes equipped with all sorts of accessories like: fake boobs, fake hair, fake nails, frosty eye shadow, and hooker shoes. YOU, on the other hand, have spilled red wine all over your white shirt, chipped your nail polish, messed up your hair, smudged your makeup, and lost one of your shoes at the bar.

And when you wake up the next morning, you know exactly what you did. Well, lets face it…you probably hardly have a CLUE what you did, but you know that if anyone was videotaping, you’re in for a world of embarrassment. A world so humiliating that you would count your lucky stars to be Vannesa Hudgens.

So how do you cope with these drunken wild sex nights?

Of course trying to make sure you don’t drink so much is the most efficient and immediate solution to this sort of ridiculousness; however, this article is not about how to deal with responsible behavior (I mean, I’m not trying to bore you to death).

My advice is to roll with it.

If the subject(s) of your affection make a remark about your Coyote Ugly dance; laugh with them and say, “Yep, I was wasted.” End of story.

Crazy sexual recklessness can be damaging in some senses, but the least you can do for yourself and your self esteem is to embrace whatever it is you did and deal with the consequences, should they come, later. And remember, while you’re probably not any Jenna Jameson; I bet you had more fun last night than she usually does.

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