Slow It Down, Baby, and Have Some Fun with the Spice Girls

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There’s nothing like a reunion tour, particularly when paired with a group that went south after one bad movie.

As soon as a friend of mine asked if I wanted to see the Spice Girls Reunion Tour, I squealed as though I was twelve again. I might even have started zig-a-zig, ahh-ing. I can’t really remember the exact way it went down, but next thing I knew I agreed to an evening of girl-powerful nostalgia at far too high a price.

Whatever. It’s the Spice Girls. The Visa statement can wait, alright? The show was this past weekend in Jersey, and ladies, let me tell you. It was awesome. And I am not ashamed.

This concert rekindled my love for pop music from my middle school days, and confirmed my girl-crush on Victoria Beckham, who really is that fabulous. If ever you doubted for a moment, rest assured. The Spice Girls have still got it. There were no openers, there was no encore, it was just a solid hour and a half with the girls.

I was definitely surprised by the attendance of so many prepubescent girls that were likely conceived to hits such as “Two Become One.” And the vast amount of sequins in the audience, as though it were New Years all over again.

There were men dancing better than I ever will, lots of skankariffic high-school girls wearing things that even I didn’t dare to attempt during freshman year of college, and of course, there were parents. Lots of fathers who were there for questionable reasons; some sighing, some more excited than they should be. It was a crazy mix of people, and it made for a hell of an evening.

The best part of the audience, however, was Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. That’s right, even HE trekked to Newark for this shizz. The ladies sent a shout-out his way during an interlude, and the rest of us cheered for him as though he had jumped on-stage for a solo himself. Somehow, my friend had landed us floor seats, and the runway-like stage offered us views of the girls decked out in Cavalli from head to toe that made me really really really wanna reconsider the college degree and go be a pop star.

Except even Cavalli couldn’t work his magic on Mel C, who’s actually quite pretty. For some reason she got stuck in pantsuits while the other girls were more fun and (pun intended) posh. She just can’t seem to break out of that sporty, frumpy role she was given, even for the reunion tour.

Other highlights of the evening included:

–An all-male dancer cast, since the girls’ moves are kind of limited by either wardrobe or talent. (Props to Mel B, if you missed her on Dancing With The Stars)

–Lots of strutting done by Mrs. Becks

–Remember “I Wanna Make You Holler“? That track from the original album? Yeah, I didn’t either until the concert. AWESOME.

…And so much more that I don’t want to ruin it if you’re going. Just get psyched to spice up your life.

As the tour comes to a close I can’t help but get a little teary-eyed and miss the days of the middle school playground, pretending to be my spice of choice (probably even then Posh, due to lack of coordination), and I want to send a thank you to the friend who offered me my ticket. That spicy nostalgia-packed evening is one I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

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