Why I Fell Out of Love With the Internet

This afternoon at approximately 3 p.m. EST, I fell out of love with the Internet.
Our love affair began about ten years ago, when I was roughly ten years old and in the fourth grade. It was a rather blissful decade: I was exposed to the wonders of AOL Instant Messenger in 7th grade, the social networking phenom MySpace in high school (that inspired me to not only chop off all my hair but also get my lip, eyebrow and nose pierced!) and became obsessed with the world of Facebook once I hit college.
But today, I finally realized what a huge pain in the ass the Internet really is.
It all started to go downhill about a year ago when I first decided that I wanted to start my own blog. I went about everything the right way. I took advice from all the pros when setting up my first online presence, including signing up for the evil that is Google AdWords.
Supposedly, Google AdWords pays you a small stipend for every time a visitor on your site clicks on an ad that they provide. Basically, I was ecstatic. I was sure I was gonna hit the jackpot by spilling my guts to readers from across the globe and be able to drop out of college and make a living from the comfort of my super chic apartment in some big city somewhere (a la Gala Darling – my idol).
Needless to say, my online ventures never quite took off. Highlighter parties, boys with dreadlocks, shopping at Urban Outfitters, and Psych lecture halls pretty much consumed my life and all the time I could’ve spent developing my blog.
So I forgot all about my AdWords account. That is, until today.
Okay…before I go on, I have a confession to make. I don’t usually check my bank statements. I mean, occasionally I’ll make sure that my apartment complex cashed my rent check or that the stupid guy behind the counter at the wine cellar didn’t charge me twice when he ran my card. Other than that, I kinda just…forget they exist, despite the annoying e-mails I get once a month.
But the last few weeks I’ve been living a little more lavish-ly than usual. I knew that dinner at the Japanese Steakhouse, three consecutive nights at the bars, a full set of acrylic nails (pink tips!) and a much-needed H&M shopping spree had probably caused a serious dent in my wallet, and I needed to see for myself.
But, boy, was I shocked when I saw not only my charges from the aforementioned adventures, but also a charge from my lovely friends over at Google. For a whopping $58.55.
As a college student, I’m sure you can imagine my dismay at seeing this large number on my screen. At my measly $7.00/hr job at the Fin. Aid office, it will take me a little over three freakin’ days of utter boredom/slavery to make it back.
Basically, I’m furious.
The bank said that they have dealt with issues like this before; however, they denied knowing anything specific about AdWords (despite the evidence I’ve seen online). They did say they’d supply me with a new debit card. But as for my hard-earned $58.55? Only time will tell if I get it back.
So this is just warning to all of you ladies out there who like to purchase stuff online: BE CAREFUL. People really can, and do, steal your credit card information – even from large companies like Google.
Also, make sure you check your bank statements after every transaction – and print off all records of everything you order online. Oh, and check out the articles here, here and here about protecting yourself from internet fraud.
And, Internet, we’ve had some really good times, but when it comes down to it, you’re just a big [email protected]#$% jerk. Good luck finding someone who will put up with your crap for as long as I did.
Oh, and don’t worry – the whole world will figure out what a scum bag you are soon enough. Have a nice life!

Even the Pretty Girls Doubt Themselves
Even the Pretty Girls Doubt Themselves
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