Oscar Fashion: Not a total Nightmare. Bummer.

As my friends and I gathered in my living room with drinks and dinner last night to watch the Oscars, we all recognized a very obvious fact: We were not gathered to actually watch the awards. In fact, none of us cared that much about who won anything. (especially not at the tipsy end of the evening). The truth is that we just wanted to see what everyone was wearing. We wanted to either rip them apart or drop our jaws in jealousy. And so that’s what happened.

There weren’t as many atrocities as I had secretly hoped for last night. I always kind of want Cameron Diaz to show up in a trash bag and slippers. But hey, lets face, she’d look like a babe even in that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that no one gave me nightmares last night.

Check out the red carpet looks after the jump. Click the photo to see the full gallery.

However, Jennifer Garner takes home the “We wanna be that bitch” trophy from me and my friends. Our jaws dropped in jealousy. We wanted her dress. Her hair. Her necklace. Her…ugh. We simply have never ever seen her look as good as she did last night…which was…FLAWLESS.

Marion Cotillard may have looked like she was wearing a quilt that her grandmother made…(except really it was Jean Paul Gaultier who made it)…nonetheless, she looked sexy in that quilt. Sexy AND unique. It was a great combination.

Amy Adams may have looked good, but she pissed me off. She ornamented her finger tips with a totally pointless bag. Yes, it was a pretty bag. However, admitting that your little princess purse has NOTHING IN IT (which, yes, she did do) is about as noble as admitting you stuffed your bra to me. As my roommate put it; “It’s a pretty purse. But it belonged in a museum…not on her arm–empty.”

Anne Hathaway, on the other hand, didn’t PISS me off, per se…instead, she just made me sad. It’s wrong of me to associate her automatically with her character in The Devil Wears Prada, but I cannnn’t helllllllpppp itttttt. I thought she was that down ass chick who looked hot and didn’t care about being paper thin. Last night, however, she was sickly skinny looking (and I’m not saying this because she is pale…I’m saying it because I think she lost too much weight). She just looked like a scared little girl who had just gotten her first detention.

All in all, my friends and I knitpicked all night long at dresses that were more or less OKAY. The only question I really have is: Who told Miley Cyrus to drop her goth rocker look? I was really digging it…

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