“You’re Cool, But I’m Gonna Go Make Out with Your Friend Now.”

The world is just too small. The more involved you get in any particular social circle or subculture, the more you realize that it’s all one big web.
As I’ve grown older, for example, I look around and see connections everywhere between my friends. Thank god Tom put that new “Mutual” friends function on Myspace. Now I don’t have to waste so much time figuring out how many of my friends that cute guy I met at the show last night already knows. Nonetheless, there comes a time in the lives of most women, provided she isn’t socially handicapped, where she realizes that she has to say:

“You’re cool, but I’m gonna go make out with your friend now.”

Of course, she doesn’t have to say it like that. In fact I would advise against it. So how do you tactfully reject a guy and then move onto his buddy?
Well, for a lot of guys, this MIGHT break some little code of boy conduct they’ve signed their initials to in blood. However, most of my guy friends would agree that if you have no history with dude number 1, then he must, by default, be cool with you rubbing up against dude number 2. In fact, if he’s NOT cool, that’s a serious violation against another section of “The Code”…which most guys would refer to as cock-blocking.
But despite all of the evidence to the contrary, some guys DO have feelings and if you can avoid totally wrecking them, you might as well.
The biggest respect I feel as though you can pay dude number 1 in this circumstance is to be totally honest with him. He’s not exactly going to be a happy camper, regardless, but he’ll feel a lot more comfortable if he KNOWS about the situation…as opposed to him walking in on his own birthday party and you’re his buddy’s hot date outta nowhere.
There are some other things I’ve learned you can do, too:
Recognize the fact that they are friends and bros before hos is also part of this CODE I keep talking about. Don’t try to turn them against each other, don’t try to stir up drama. Just make your own intentions obvious and leave all of the soap operatic bullshit to them, should they wish to get territorial.
Know when to quit. If dude number 1 will never be cool with you and dude number 2, you’ve really gotta prioritize. How much do you want to be dating/hooking up with a guy who has a best buddy who despises you? Or…the two of you together?
It’s true. Boys are babies. But let them be boys while trying to convince yourself that you’re the mother in this situation. Stay calm and collected. Think through your words carefully. Try to prevent crying from either one of them. AND if you must, you are permitted to pull out “THE CODE” on powerpoint and specifically show each respective dude where they are falling out of place.
And if that doesn’t work…just pull your funds together with dude number 2 and get dude number 1 blackout wasted.

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