Gymaholics: Not Better Than Me, Just Buffer

Gym addicts, you’re not fooling anyone. We’re on to you. We know that you’re just trying to make us feel bad.

Like the size two girl in the office bringing in cupcakes, you want the slightly squishy members of society to drown in a pool of self-loathing while you gloat above the rest of us, spending two plus hours at the gym five days weekly and playing intramural athletics on the side. You want us to know that we’ve just failed the physical fitness test of life, and are not as good as you. As people. Our bodies are not as firm and toned, and therefore, you are better at life than any of us who would rather eat Cheetos and take a nap.

I even enjoy the gym on the rare occasion. Sometimes it’s a great way to deal with stress or boredom. But I can’t compel myself to go everyday. Unfortunately, it’s one thing that I’m okay with taking out of my schedule. If I can be social, that’s going to trump in priority, every time. So unfortunately has been the case for the past month, and so my gym membership goes unused.

In the city, there’s always something to do or somewhere to go. By working out, I’m missing out on something else. So fine, I’ll walk to and from work, but I’m still going to enjoy my cupcake. And you and your guilt are not stopping me.

I like to think that the roll around my hips, affectionately named my “chub” as it has not and never will go away, no matter how fit I may be, helps emphasize that my waist is actually smallish. I’m not a small person, and so I don’t expect to be tiny. I am proportional. I am within the healthy weight range for all six feet of vertical space I take up. Just because I am tall does not mean I need to be built like a thirteen year old boy. Modeling is not in the cards for me. I know this. I’m over it. You should be too.

Male gym rats might even be worse than the female addicts. Guys, it’s great that your musculature can make me salivate, but really, I have an issue with hooking up with people in much better shape than me. It makes me feel like I’m being judged. If you’re going to be interested and a gym addict, please refrain from pointing out your triceps/quads/insert-muscle-group-here. I know I’m squishy, okay? And really, egotism is a bit unbecoming. Keep your opinions to yourself.

So for the peer-pressuring fitness lovers? Stop. I’ll do it on my own. I have enough guilt to carry around from my parents, thanks, plus was raised female and have learned to have a pereptual dissatisfaction with my body regardless of how thin or fat I may be. You can’t make me share your passion.

Love it or hate it, we’ve all got an opinion. What are your thoughts on judgers at the gym?

The Best Granola Ever…is What You Make of It!
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