Warning: DO NOT SLEEP WITH THE BFF

Everyone knows the ONE GOLDEN RULE when it comes to best friends that are guys: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, SLEEP WITH THEM.

After a few drinking games and too many shots of tequila it would have taken a bold letter tattoo of “the golden rule” tattooed straight on my FACE in order to obey it. Tequila makes rules exempt and makes best guy friends the perfect lay. Until the next day…

My best friend was like my brother (insert disgusted face here). He knew everything about me, the guys I dated, my bad habits, my snarky attitude and what I looked like with no make up and how red my zits could get. We would stay up late playing poker and card games, or searching for an ice cream place that was open past midnight and if they weren’t he’d stop and buy me my favorite mint chocolate chip at the grocery store. We had inside jokes and I made fun of his blonde girlfriends and he made fun of my skinny emo boyfriends. We were each other’s exact opposite of who we were typically attracted to.

The first time we slept together the sexual tension was palpable. One day we were speaking to each other doing Anchorman impressions and the next day we were — wildly attracted to each other (blame it on the inebriation). We were so attracted, in fact, that we managed to have sex with Ong Bak The Thai Warrior playing on the screen in the background.

…Nothing like kung fu to get you going.

The next morning, I remembered what happened and surprisingly didn’t want to scurry into the bathroom to check for morning breath, or hide. Waking up to my best friend was, oh sh*t, it was nice. He grumbled in his morning voice and I left for work while he slept in, he was comfortable enough to stay without me, in my apartment…because after all, he was my best friend.

A few weeks passed and it was like nothing happened, we continued doing the BFF type things we’d usually do; watching reality tv and ordering pizza…then, we slept together again. And though we were going through the best friend motions, I was going through the beginning stages of developing a major crush A major crush on someone I already knew so well, which I recognized as turning into the potential to want; a relationship.

The night I decided to tell him, I hadn’t thought it through — a losing game of Sevens decided for me. I pulled him outside and immediately started CRYING. Crying?! Why in God’s name was I crying? (I am convinced I was weeping straight liquor from overflow, and it had nothing to do with actual emotions)

I, (sob) just (sob), like (sob) you, (sob, sniffle, sob, sob) SO MUUUUUUUCCCH (Full out wailing ensues.)

He didn’t seem shocked. Obviously, since all night long I’d been acting like a bumbling teenage girl, batting my eyelashes and flirting.

“You’re amazing, you know how much I love you (holy hell…I’m about to receive the, ‘we’re better off friends’ line) but….I’m dating someone.”

My bawling was so intense at that point that I couldn’t define the difference between my snot and my tears. I was gushing from all facial orifices. And what did I say…?

IS SHE BLONDE?!!! (Scream/sob)

Of course she was.

I needed to excuse myself for a Kleenex. In the bathroom, as I attempted to wipe up mascara and well, snot, I peeked out the window only to see my best friend RUNNING, full speed, Olympic track-star running to his truck, and then peel out of the parking lot.

Oh, hell.

The next day I could barely stomach what happened, I had cried so hard mascara wasn’t just on my face it was on my damn kneecaps. I was the vision of Damsel in Distress: tortured heart, hangover, ratty hair and yesterdays make-up. This had to be undone.

I called and pleaded for him to forgive me for being such a….fool. He didn’t answer I assume out of fear. Sadly it took about eight months for us to get back to where we were; 3 months after the episode we were acquaintances, 6 months later we were “friends”, and thankfully now…we’re back to normal.

So is sleeping with the best guy friend a good idea? I wouldn’t advise it. But thankfully, our relationship was strong enough for it to be salvageable.

Have you ever slept with your best guy friend and what happened??? I know not everyone can be lucky enough to remain friends, but SOME people also manage to make their best guy friend their best boyfriend.

What happened to you?

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