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Craigslist is Full of F&%cking Weird People: The Sweet and Creepy

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I have a friend who thinks that every Craigslist Missed Connection was written for her.

Seriously. It would say, “You: Blonde with eyes. Me: Guy on the train who was looking at you. Did we connect?” And she would stretch her arms and yawn and tell me, “I saw myself in Missed Connections today. Did you?”

The truth is, I have seen myself in Missed Connections. Once. But I didn’t respond. I do have a boyfriend, after all.

So why am I looking at Missed Connections in the first place?

BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP.

Take, for instance, the case of a random m4f in Chelsea:

We waited at the 23rd st. station for the R or W train at around 5:30 Saturday. We both got on, but I got off soon after. We exchanged little sexy smiles on the platform as we waited for the train. I should have said hello but I was too busy entertaining dirty thoughts about ravishing you and your tight little exposed belly right there on the platform.

I’m sorry, forgive me, but I find this adorable. I’m not going to judge him for having dirty thoughts about this girl. But I am going to enjoy reading it. I mean, he’s talking about loving her tummy. And that makes me love him.

Of course, sometimes these things are downright creepy. I enjoy those as well.

But the ones I really love to hate are the ones that read like hipster love nanofiction. An example:

i see you at the shop all the time.

you are tall and lovely, your hair always looks like you are studying for finals.

you wear casual clothes and tote around an angry lesbian for p.c purposes.

our eyes met and you asked me to come over to your table, i felt the moment of truth coming.

you spoke and asked me the question that all men want to here, “do you think this guy is wearing a sweater or is that his chest hair”?

i am truly crushing.

Sorry. Trying too hard.

Still, I go back for more and more. Because I loved Missed Connections.

And someday it will love me.

(Me: Graduate student with brown hair and green sweater. You: Missed Connections. Let’s get together and make it work.)

COLLEGECANDY Writer
I give you advice. You take it. Or I eat your face.