As far as relationship milestones go, moving in together is right up there with getting engaged and having a child. It may not seem like such a huge deal initially, but it’s really one of the bigger make or break moments in a relationship.
Deciding to live with your significant other is essentially committing to a practice marriage; you will find out how often he wears the same pair of smelly socks, that he has a difficult time digesting Mexican food and calls his mom twice a day. This doesn’t mean there is something fundamentally wrong with him, you will just finally get to see all the not so shiny things about him–things that ultimately shouldn’t matter if you are in love.
After all, he’s going to know how scary you look in the morning, hear you fart, and discover that, indeed, you sometimes poop.
Being that its such a huge step, it goes without saying that moving in together is not something to be taken lightly. Here are some things to consider before taking the proverbial plunge.
1) If you’re like me and really treasure your privacy, enjoy it while you are still living apart from your love muffin, because once you move in together it will be gone, or at least greatly diminished. Even if you had roommates before, you still probably had your own room which afforded you a modicum of privacy.
There is a good chance you will be sharing a bedroom with your significant other which makes it somewhat more difficult to be alone. It’s one of many necessary sacrifices you will have to make. But, to ease the situation, you can institute a “quiet time” where you can be by yourself in one room and loverboy can be alone in another. Or you can keep your own bedroom in your shared house if privacy is really that sacred to you.
2) Make sure you plan out your financial situation precisely BEFORE you move in. There are always certain unforeseen situations and money is usually the thing that causes the most friction in co-habitative relationships. Get it in writing who will pay for what and when so there can be no argumentation. I know the money conversation is kind of a buzzkill, but if you’re serious about making your relationship work and work smoothly, you need to have it.
3) Try a trial run. Hopefully if you are considering taking the big step of moving in with your honey bunny, you have spent a considerable about of time with that person and have a good idea of their idiosyncrasies (and they will have some). Before you move in, try living with the person for two weeks. If their adorable little nuances haven’t made you consider spousicide then you should think about continuing with the plan, as it were.
If they are already on your nerves after a scant two weeks, then maybe you should reconsider. Don’t misunderstand me, at some point, your schnookums is going to drive you crazy, but hopefully, if you are lucky, it’s more of a thing that happens over time.