Craigslist is Full of F&%cking Weird People: The Creepy Poet

So we’ve been looking at Craigslist Missed Connection posts, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And now I’d like to address an animal of a different color:

THE POEM.

Oh my yes, the Missed Connection poem. Some poor guy gets it into his head that writing a creepy-ass poem about the object of his affection (emphasis on object–it’s all about what he saw on her the one time he saw her, obscured by the drool creeping up from his mouth into his eyes. yes, that’s how much he drools) is the way to her heart.

Because women really love creepy love poems dedicated to them on craigslist. Observe:

Hilarious Craigslist Missed Connection:

A single strand of carelessely flung hair – m4w – 28

You shake light across your shin leather boots

and walk with frustrated taps a-clickin’

back, forever trapping my momments gasp:

my coat tails scrape a taxi’s sides, a gawk,

(what luck I’m not eating from stomach tubes)

but I can’t ever lose those auburn curls

which simply twist in quick and flimsy grace

at this foolish man – so eas’ly dismissed.

Humiliating. Freaky. Delightful.

Okay. I admit it. I frickin’ love this.

I mean, it’s a terrible poem. I mean, terrible terrible. But the sentiment is oddly sweet, if horrifyingly obnoxious.

And of course, if it were directed at me, I would ignore it.

Would you date this dude?

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