Last time, four new broads showed up in the house because the original season girls weren’t pretty enough.
Of course the originals think that these girls have nothing on them. Let the naming re-begin:
First girl is called Black because that’s what she’s wearing.
Second is Prototype because she says that she’s perfect.
Third one calls herself Luscious D.
The last one is supertall. Prancer thinks that she’s a man and I might too. Flav calls her Tree and says that she’s the black Bridgette Nielsen. That can’t be a good thing.
So I think that the old timers are just fine – they are going to put aside their differences to take down the new ones. Flav is unable to sleep because they are SCREAMING at each other. This happens like every night and twice a day, no?
Amid the screams, this is the only line that I hear is: “What is your education level? Do you got a GED?”
Next morning: While Prototype and the new girls discover the stank that is in the house, proving that VH1 doesn’t spring for house cleaning, the old timers walk around with their clocks on because they think it proves something.
Flav tells them that they are going to do a hiphopera about Flav’s love life. Please don’t. Three acts – two are about Flav’s past and the script is written and the third act is supposed to be about the future. They have three hours to decide who directs, who performs, and to write their act.
Seezinz directs, parts are assigned and why does Hotlanta need henny to get on stage? Don’t you dance? Ohhhh, nevermind.
Prototype is playing Delishis, which entails shoving sheets down her underwear. She wears underwear?
At least they are only performing for Big Rick and Flav. I would have summarized this mess for you but I simply cannot put it into words. Though Prancer does a super long rap and she admits to having sex with Flav.
First award for best performance goes to Prototype. For stuffing her ass?
Next goes to the second best performance, Sinceer for her Act 2 Flav performance.
Next day: the new girls are in the kitchen and Prancer finds them making breakfast in bed. Ew, they cooked in that nasty kitchen? You can’t make food in a dirty ass kitchen.
Flav loves that the four new ones are up on his bed as he eats breakfast. They came up with a rap to tell him that they cleaned – oh, okay. That’s better – not the rap; the cleaning. Tree IS a man, by the way.
Everyone’s got on a hat for the date. Where are they going? Horse races?
Flav wants to give away an immunity clock and before he leaves, he asks the new girls to figure out who should get one.
Yeah, race track date. Flav bets $100 on horse #7. Watch how you spend your VH1 allowance. Oh, he won. “Lucky #7 that’s how many kids I got.” He won three races – good for you. Spend it wisely, Flav.
Back at the house, new girls interview the old timers. A new girl also feels it’s weird that the Thingz have one clock. “Is he gonna f*ck you and then go f*ck your sister?” It’s nasty to think about. One Thing is okay with it, the other is not. The less hungry one would NOT give her sister the immunity clock.
Coming home from the date, Prototype starts talking about her modeling and admits that she’s a video girl. You’re not staying long.
Later on that night, the new girls go to Flav to tell him that Thing 2 should get the immunity clock and he gives them their clocks pre-elimination.
So eliminations: Hotlanta and PRANCER are in the bottom two. Flav thinks that Hotlanta shut down once the new girls showed up because she kept crying and getting drunk and Flav says that he needs a strong woman. He wants her to convince him that she’s strong enough – so she pulls out the ‘I’m not a snitch and I don’t kiss and tell.’ Oooooohh!!!
He calls down Prancer who clearly didn’t realize that other people could HEAR her rap. Flav says that he didn’t have sex with Prancer and that he’s careful with what he writes so that he can send out the right message – and he SENDS PRANCER HOME! I was convinced that she’d make the final two.
Mercedes is her real name and Hotlanta is saved. I can’t believe I was wrong on that.
Next time: Sinceer and her evil clingon forehead will take down the b*tches. And they are staging fake weddings? Flav finally screams out “Everyone shut the f*ck up” and stages his own leopard themed funeral.