Self-proclaimed “Nice Guys” are Creeps

Nice guys think they finish last. Assholes think they finish first. As Dane Cook would put it, “What about the whole middle ground here where YOU’RE AN IDIOT!?

There’s more to it than good guys and bad guys. I’m sick of hearing nice guys complain that so many of us girls choose to date jerks. Screw that. It’s just that the nice guys, the REALLY nice ones, are disguised. “Nice Guys” are the ones hovering over your desk at work, telling you:

“You know, I’M A NICE GUY, but you girls only like dirtballs.”

See? That “Nice Guy” thinks he’s one thing, but in actuality, he’s a creep. He is a lame, lame creep who hangs onto something he learned from his mother when he was young about being nice to ladies. He might always pay for meals and he might always make sure you get into your home safely after a date WITHOUT inviting himself in…but that’s not all that it takes to be a nice guy. For all I know, Mr. Self proclaimed “Nice Guy” is actually an axe murderer who likes to feel like he can save the day. You can’t fool me. I watch Dexter.

A genuinely nice guy doesn’t need to go around bragging about how he’s a nice guy. A genuinely nice guy demonstrates this through his actions and everyone around him, especially woman, can see right to his core. A genuinely nice guy can pick up on your tone when you had a weird day and need to talk about it. A genuinely nice guy won’t have sex with you if he doesn’t have time to hang out afterward (unless you’re totally all about it). A genuinely nice guy will find ways to show you that he supports you and cares about you without having to buy out advertising space on a highway sign for his creepy smiling face with a headline that reads: “Looking for a nice guy? Well! You found one!”

So yeah, that “Nice Guy”, that one who thinks he is entitled to all women out there…he is the worst kind of guy. Girls, if you’re looking for a good catch…you need to look up, down, and through every aspect of a guy’s life. And if he decides to pronounce to you that he is a “Nice Guy”…I would write him off immediately.

…Unless you prefer your compliments with a side of jerk.

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