The Passover Diet: Day 1

Every year for Passover, I give up bread, grains, etc. for 8 days. Why? Because this is how we do.
My mother told me she used to bring tuna sandwiches on matzoh every year every day for all of Passover. I can’t imagine how she did this. Tuna on matzoh is basically disgusting.
But I digress. This morning my Chinese-American-Non-Jew boyfriend walked into our living room, took one look at me eating buttered matzoh, and said, “Hey, Matzoh Girl.”
That was it for me, folks. I am going to document the 8 days of my Passover Diet here on College Candy.
Side Note: I am calling it a diet only in the sense that it is a way of eating. Unfortunately, it is not a losing weight diet. Every year I think it might be. I mean, the Atkins Diet is, right? Unfortunately, every year I also end up eating a lot of cheese and junk food to fill up when bread is not possible, and so it ends up…let’s say evening out. Yeah. Evening out.
So, okay, last night through this morning:
Right before the sun went down, I had my last bread meal before Passover: a chicken gyro. Mmmm. So long, dear pita, I knew you well.
My boyfriend is sympathetic, but doesn’t understand how hard it is to not eat grains. I tell him he’s retarded. We continue on our merry way.
I don’t go to a Seder for the first night because I’m having one with my parents the second night. Instead, the boyfriend and I watch The Thomas Crowne Affair, which totally sucks and is maybe a bad omen of non-bread to come.
This morning, I reach for the Cheerios and then remember it’s Passover and have matzoh with butter instead (cue boyfriend’s “Matzoh Girl” comment). Then I head off to my workstudy job.
On the way, I pick up soup to eat for lunch. The guy behind the counter says, “What kind of bread?” I say, “Oh, no bread.” He says, “It comes with bread.” I says, “That’s okay, thanks.” He says, “Are you sure? No bread?” I finally say, “I can’t, it’s Passover…” And he says, “Okay, okay” like I just told him I have my period or something.
Anyway, the soup sucks and I wish I had bread.
Seder tonight at my parents’. I am desperately hoping for my father’s matzoh ball soup.

Trouble Follows the Torch
Trouble Follows the Torch
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