The Passover Diet: The Final Days

Basically, I ran out of things to eat.
Yeah, yeah, it shouldn’t be that hard. But somehow nothing seems quite satisfying enough, quite interesting enough when I have to think so hard about my food.
I am not the kind of girl who diets. In fact, I’ve never been on a diet in my entire life (excluding this “Passover diet” that I go on every year for a week). And I’ll tell you, I don’t like it. If I had to be so careful about what I ate all the time, I would definitely be a much bigger bitch.
Which is really making me a better person. Because now when someone is rude to me on the train, I can think, “oh, they must be on a diet,” and let it go. Thanks, Passover!
In any event, the last couple of days were annoying. I missed out on free Beard Papa cream puffs, on free cookies, on going out to (not free, but still) pizza with friends, etc. etc.
I ate Pinkberry frozen yogurt for lunch one day when I was in a rush and couldn’t think of anything else that was fast.
I was not always nice to my boyfriend.
But he’s forgiven me and now Passover has, at last, passed.
So tonight I ate pizza and cake for dinner.
And now I feel sick.
But I’ve learned something: cutting out bread from your diet sucks. And, if you’re me, it causes you to eat more junk food out of desperation. So don’t do it! Eat bread! EAT BREAD!!!
And so ends my Passover Diet chronicles. Please hold for Yom Kippur fast (COMING SOON to a Jew near you!).

Passive Aggressive Notes Can Be Funny…When They’re Not Directed At You
Passive Aggressive Notes Can Be Funny…When They’re Not Directed At You
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