Dear America: Are You A Pedophile?

So I’ve got to vent. Being a writer and all, it’s always easier for me to vent in the form of a letter, so here you go:
Dear America,
Are you a pedophile? If you could just admit that you are one, then I would at least understand your sick obsession with underage Hollywood girls and their bodies. But since you’re going to pretend like the way you view bodies and sex is normal, I have no choice but to be angry.
Miley Cyrus is supposed to feel badly about the pictures she’s recently taken. One set of pictures features her in her underwear. Another set features her showing her…her…disgustingly inappropriate…BACK.
So what if the girl took some pictures of herself in her underwear? How is that really any different from her going to the beach and having pictures taken of her in her bathing suit? Oh…let me guess…it’s about the context of it all. A girl showing her tummy and thighs when she’s NOT post-ocean and in public is out of line.
And so what if she was wearing a sheet in a photo shoot? Did her back and right arm really offend you or give your children nightmares?
From Vanessa Hudgens to Emma Watson, you have grown progressively more and more concerned with how short a teenager’s skirt is or how much leg she is showing. Please, just explain it to me. Explain to me your definitions of ‘appropriate’ and why you feel as though they should apply to everyone in this country.
Until you explain yourself to me, I’m just going to assume you’re a pedophile who gets turned on seeing Miley Cyrus‘ back and then you feel guilty about it and scapegoat her into feeling like she did something wrong.
Oh, and I’m only wearing a towel right now. Send me to hell.

Spencer and Heidi and Tyra, Oh Crap!
Spencer and Heidi and Tyra, Oh Crap!
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