In Praise of Hairy Men

I sing of the Glorious Man Pelt, the shiny waves of hair that cascade from a man’s head, his chest, his arms, his legs, his ass, his bac—well, maybe not his back. And maybe not so much on his ass that I’m gonna have to spray No More Tangles on it.
I just need enough that when I’m wrapped around said man in passionate or casual embrace that he really and truly feels like a man and not a ken doll. For all the sexual response they garner from me, hairless men could just as well have Ken’s reproductive situation, if you catch my drift.
I’m not asking for a skunk ape here, I’m merely stating that I think men should retain a certain amount of that thing that is so inherently masculine.
That being said, I understand that many women—dare I say, the majority?—do not share my enthusiastic affinity for a lot of hair on men and I’m willing to chalk it up to taste to a certain degree. But for the life of me, I can’t understand why so many men feel it necessary to shave things like their forearms, or their legs, or, heaven forbid, their chests.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a proponent of trimming, especially in the bathing suit region, and I understand the practicality of shaving one’s beard so kissing doesn’t become the battle of the brilloface. I will even concede that mustaches, goatees and other forms of facial hair have not been attractive since, well, ever. And many men who are in to swimming, biking, or running like to shave to make themselves, I guess, faster (more aerodynamic?)
But no hair? Anywhere? I just don’t get it.
I’m not really into the metrosexual thing, and I think that this hairless movement began when the Queer Eye guys introduced the word “metrosexual” into our collective lexicon. Does hairy=dirty now? Or is it just that hairy guys remind certain women of their fathers? Whatever the case, ridding oneself of all ones body hair seems to be grooming to the extreme.
And images of shaved men have been proliferating popular culture lately. Even the Brawny Man has been usurped in favor of a more clean-shaven lumberjack. Try to think back to the last time you saw a hairy guy on the cover of men’s health or on a runway or a television show. And if they are hairy, they are usually from another country, so maybe it’s just an American movement.
Do you like hairless men? What’s the appeal? Let us know!

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