Biathletes and Blue Balls: A Shot at Love 2 Recap, Episode 3

Let’s just cut to it – sixteen people are left in that bed.
Their challenge for the day is a biathlon and with that, I am over the whole Tila’s bi thing and it’s only episode three. Tila looks bored as she announces that it’s boys versus girls. What do pearl necklaces and blue balls have to do with biathlons? Oh.
This challenge makes me wonder why I never had a slip n slide when I was a kid. “I cruised through it until I got to the blue balls; then it all fell apart for me…that was my downfall, the blue balls.” Isn’t that how it always happens, Ryan?
Do they all share a wet suit? Chad is last and he too struggles with blue balls. Why do they call Jersey Lisa/Toni from Paradise Hotel lookalike Rizzo? I like her. I might like-her like her. Oh, and she wins it for the girls. Aw, Chad, I heart you even though you lost.
The girls win a date. Which consists of the girls – going to school. They are dressed in terrible school girl uniforms and Tila’s going to teach them – what? How to make a Myspace page?
They all have to write “I CAN…something, something, pig’s vagina.” Uh, can anyone actually eat a pig’s vagina and not poison themselves? Do me a favor, all of you – never do a google image search for pig’s vagina. Please. Looks worse than what was on the plate. I kind of wanna die. Like I could vomit in my lap. HOW the eff can Tila be disappointed that people can’t tolerate eating an animal’s genitals? This is the most engaged she’s been since the start of this season.
Lisa won again. Puke on Tila now cuz she deserves it. Wait – Lisa picked Dominic to come on the date? I don’t know how that went down because my stomach is trying to punch its way out of my throat.
Lisa kisses Tila during their date and normally I’d say Ew, but Tila deserves to have some pig vagina in her mouth. Tila tells some fake story about how she first knew that she liked girls. Dominic tells Tila that he thinks that bisexuality is a phase and he just got himself kicked off right there.
Eliminations! Goody. Two girls and two guys are going home. Even better.
It comes down to Ryan, Bo and Dominic for the guys. She keeps Bo and his cheesy white belt.
For the girls, the last ones standing are V, Samantha/Glitter/Pole Ridder, and Lauren – she keeps Pole Rider.
Everyone takes their stupid shot and why do I feel like there’s water in those shot glasses?
Next time: Breasts, booze, boys fighting and Glitter cries some more.

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