It’s Derrick Bitch: America’s Got Talent Season Premiere

The season premiere of America's Got Talent was a mixed bag filled with cocky British judges, bad singers, sob stories and the occasional flashy outfit. I sifted through two hours of mediocre entertainment, anxiously awaiting the "real talent" to show itself. No puppeteers, no sh*tty freak shows, and if I saw one more person who thought they could dance I was going to punch my TV through the wall. To the outside observer, not only does America lack talent, we lack the wisdom to know better.

But I was rewarded for my patience. Not by the four-year-old girl who stole everyone's heart but by Derrick Barry.

This guy looks better than Britney on her best day, airbrushing and all. He may not be as talented as the blubbering opera singer or the vindicated baton twirler but man can he work a pair of leather pants. Finally a good excuse to shout out, Fierce Hot Tranny Mess!

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