MTV and the crew are bringing this shizz to Cancun. Do Brittany, Bo and Kristy have to share a big velvet purple bed here too? I’m sorry – I’m obsessed with this bed.
As soon as they arrive, they have pool and lunch/talk time. Bo and his well-waxed eyebrows have nothing to say until he finds out that he can’t ride on the jet skis with the girls because of his jaw. He gets upset and takes it personally. Bo, need I remind you – spitting out tons of blood, split jaw, emergency room – surgery?!?
Then we have the condom blow up race – the person who wins gets to choose when they have their date. The catch: the game isn’t about speed; it’s about how they work the pump. Yes, working the pump. I’m shaking my head as I type this. Brittany wins and decides to spend the second night with Tila; she then chooses Bo go to on the first date and Kristy to go on the last one.
So the rest of the episode is basically going to be Tila making out with everyone and possibly spending the night with each of them.
Bo date: Bo’s apologies for acting like a baby earlier in the date and Tila cries about hurting Bo’s feelings and then she initiates a kiss, which totally surprises me because it seems like she doesn’t want to even be on the show. Did you guys even eat anything?
They go up to Tila’s room and I’m shocked – SHOCKED! – as the girls lay around in their bikinis and call Bo doofy. Awww, he’s not doofy; I make fun of him, but I do think that he’s cute.
Oh, geeze, someone put rose petals on Tila’s bed. Can I inform the world that rose petals on a bed are a bad idea? They stick to you, you know.
And Brittany and Kristy are skinny dipping as Bo and Tila keep making out. I’m guessing that Bo spends the night.
Yes, I’m right; Tila and Bo enter breakfast together where Tila is going to eat pancakes in lingerie. Did they do it? Must they giggle as Kristy and Brittany try to eat?
Brittany date: I feel like she’s going to get eliminated because she just pours it on. “You make it so hard not to fall in love with you.” CHEEEEEEESE. How old are you? You and Tila were meant to happen? Wow. This is followed by a make out and an invitation to Tila’s hot tub where Tila says she falls in love with Brittany. Well, she told the cameras that; she didn’t tell Brittany.
Next morning, Brittany and Tila enter together for another uncomfortable morning-after-possibly-post-coital breakfast.
Kristy date: It’s going to just be more of the same; dinner, make out, talk about feelings, night cap. I really like Tila’s dress; I don’t think that I’ve liked a single thing that she’s worn through this whole show until this moment.
Kristy, Tila’s not spoiling you – some 22 year old at MTV is setting up these dates. I like how we see more of Tila and Kristy together than anyone else because the camera guys like filming it and the editing guys need something interesting to watch. The girls take the hook up inside and walk into breakfast together the next morning.
And we watch another uncomfortable breakfast but at least they are flying back to Cali afterward for eliminations that night. I’m glad Tila can spend the flight time doing all of that thinking since she has so much on her mind.
Bo gets the first key – no shocker there.
Tila chooses Kristy over Brittany. And again, I’m not shocked. Brittany’s really sweet and I’m sure that after this show she’ll have PLENTY of girls to choose from.
Next time – reunion show and then in two weeks we have the finale for the greatest, most influential show ever!
Who do you think will win it, Kristy or Bo?