Sex on the Beach: Worth the Unnecessary Exfoliation.

There are famous scenes from movies depicting it. There are Facebook bumper stickers dedicated to it. There are songs that shout the praises of it. There are how to articles and, hell, it even has search results on Wikipedia. Yet for the entirety of my life, the closest I’d come to Sex on the Beach was double fisting them on Friday nights. This had to change.

With the advent of summer upon us, I decided it was high time I was no longer a sex on the beach virgin. I grabbed my manfriend (chuckle chuckle, Carrie Bradshaw) and headed to the shore.

It was a perfect night for just being at the beach, let alone hooking up. Full moon, light breeze and crashing waves. Very romance novel. So boyfriend and I wandered along the beach until we found a secluded(ish) spot.

When we got there, however, I found that I could have done with some good advice before embarking on this adventure. So for all you beach bunny virgins out there contemplating some sea-side action, here is what I wish my experienced girlfriends had told me:

Bring a Flashlight: Luckily for us, the moon was enormous and lit our way pretty well. I happen to be completely blind in the smallest amount of darkness, though, and was petrified of stepping on baby sea turtles. If it’s even semi-cloudy out, a small light should help you navigate.

Don’t forget the blanket! And make it a big one. For a girl who considers a hotel without room service roughing it, I felt surprisingly one with nature. This may have had to do with the stray grains of sand making themselves uncomfortable in my back/chest/butt/eyeballs. I also got considerably less kisses on my neck (my favorite!) because boyfriend kept coming up with mouthfuls of sand.

Consider bringing some “accessories”: The al fresco factor of beach boinking is definitely a plus. I felt so free (cheesy, I know); but while all that open air and exposure to the elements felt g-r-e-a-t when we were cooling off afterwards, it made things a little difficult to get going. Luckily, boyfriend thought ahead to bring lube. This also might help if you are nervous about being caught/ arrested for lewd behavior, leading to distraction. It’s always good to bring back up!

Get creative! Boyfriend luh-huvved the “versatility” it allowed him in positioning. This was a factor I hadn’t even considered, but he said that the consistency of the sand gave him a ton of freedom in his movement, and made everything newer and more comfortable. Next time we get the chance for some S on the B, I plan on capitalizing on my old sand castle building skills. Feel free to dig, mound and pile the sand under your blanket to create new positions– it’s like mother nature’s response to the liberator.

Enjoy the, um, scenery. Now I’m not suggesting you tune out your partner to listen to the breeze, or attempt to synchronize your orgasm with crashing waves (although that would be impressively symbolic), just appreciate the added element it adds to the act. The beach is so gorgeous at night and is practically tailor made for good good lovin’. So get out there and embrace your inner nature goddess; your lucky beach mate will thank you!

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