Finding Love in the Post-College World: Geek Love

Post-college geeks aren’t the same as in-college geeks. These aren’t hipster boys who wear horn-rimmed glasses or cardigans with elbow patches. These boys aren’t geek chic. Post-college geeks are a special breed of boy. They are the freaks from Freaks & Geeks, and not in an ironic way. They played Dungeons & Dragons in high school (and maybe still secretly do) and can name all the aliens that appear in the Mos Eisley Cantina in “Star Wars.”
And they’re surprisingly date-able.
I sat down the other night with two of my geekiest friends, Patrick and Jeff (not their real names), to discuss geek love. I asked them why a girl should date a geeky guy, and they gave me an intricate look at the geek lifestyle and how it translates into relationships.
First, we lay down the definition of a geek. They explain to me the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork. In their opinion, dorks and nerds are both socially awkward beings –– dorks because they’re too dumb and nerds because they’re too smart. A geek, on the other hand, is the perfect specimen.
“How do you approach a girl you have a crush on?” I ask.
“I do that?” Patrick asks back. Jeff explains to me that geeky guys don’t approach girls they like in order to ask them out. Out of a fear of rejection, they try to be friends first. I ask the guys how well this works out, they agree: not well.
Patrick tells me: “In high school [Jeff] pitched to me the idea of Dungeons & Dragons because he said girls would be there.” I ask Patrick if this worked out and he just gives me a what-do-you-think? look.
According to Patrick and Jeff, geeks are the perfect boyfriends for three main reasons: they are sweet, loyal and smart. It only makes sense that the same guy who memorizes a hundred Star War’s alien species will remember every last detail about his girlfriend and her love for all things Gossip Girl. And the imaginative guy that plays games like D & D (Dungeons and Dragons, for all you non-geeks out there) will also be the guy who comes up with adorable date/gift ideas…and maybe some awesome role-playing in the bedroom. Rar.
“God doesn’t give with both hands,” the old cliché goes. I firmly believe this. In my ten-odd years of dating, I’ve learned that the prettier and more charming the boy, the more vapid the boy’s brain. Those of us not blessed with fashion model looks or disarming charm had to develop (gasp!) personalities to compensate.
Geeks have personality in droves, and the coping mechanisms they developed in high school help them considerably in relationships. They weren’t the most popular kids in school (duh), and their after-school activities weren’t considered cool (audio visual club, etc.), so they formed tight cliques with like-minded friends, thus developing their loyalty. Geeky boys also had to rely on humor to survive; who could make fun of them when they were making fun of themselves first?
All the qualities that make a geek a geek also make a geek a good boyfriend. What girl doesn’t want a sweet, loyal, imaginative, romantic, funny guy who can also fix her computer and explain how a supernova forms? So, while you might have been glued to the football field bleachers in high school searching for the perfect boyfriend, now that you’re out of school it’s time to move away from the jocks and towards the geeks.
The relationship will be far more rewarding.
[Photo courtesy of]

Sipping on Summertime Tea
Sipping on Summertime Tea
  • 10614935101348454