I (Really) Wanna Make Love In This Club


I can’t help it. Ever since I heard Usher’s not-so-new song, Love in This Club, I can’t help but want to…well…make love in this club. Any club, really. Not necessarily “this” one. Not that I have something against this one, but I like to keep my options open.

There is something so hot about the thought of meeting some guy – preferably one that looks like Usher – and being so into it that you can’t even wait to get home. You just gotta go to it. Right. There.

I don’t know if I’d be quite uninhibited enough to do it “on the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor.” I know that Usher “don’t care who watching,” but, really? The bar? Isn’t that a teensy, tiny bit…public? Plus, I got thrown out of a bar last month for making out in front of the bartender; I can only imagine what the bartenders would have to say about me grabbing onto the beer taps in a fit of pleasure.

Maybe somewhere a bit more….secluded? Like a hallway? Or the kitchen? Once it’s closed, of course; no one wants that going on near their nachos. I’d consider the bathroom, except that I did try that once and it wasn’t too successful. There is always a giant line in the ladies’ room and the boys’ bathrooms are just too f-ing gross. Not to mention the fact that dudes at a urinal sorta ruin the mood.

Coat rooms are key. I would totally make love in the club in the coat room. Or behind the DJ booth. Right by the speakers. And the bass. (What? Did I go too far?)

Now, I just need to find someone make love (to) in this club. Someone that looks like Usher… or sorta does after a few shots.

[Delicious photo of Usher courtesy of streetknowledge.wordpress.com]

When my mom moved me into my dorm freshman year she left me $65 to buy a humidifier. I took that money and bought a pair of heels because I can sleep without damp air blowing in my face, but I can't rock a humidifier with a hot black mini.