I Wanted to Have Sex, But I Wanted to Make Him Wait More

For those of you who follow any of my entries on here, if you know anything about me, you know this one thing: I like sex. I like it a lot and I have made the argument on here, multiple times, that a lady can still be a lady and have sex whenever SHE wants…including the first date.
But I did something this past weekend that I haven’t done in five years: I did NOT have sex when I wanted to, and could have.
A man who I’ve had a flirtatious relationship with for the last 10 months has recently been coming on more strongly. He’s been asking me out on ‘official’ dates and telling me how it drives him nuts that I hook up with other guys but I have never attempted to even touch him. (And I laughed some sort of maniacal laugh in my head at that one…I loved finding out that I was driving him crazy with desire. I’m real sick like that.)
We made some plans for Saturday night and I blew them off. I was busy with my writing and had no desire to leave my neighborhood. I kindly let him know that he was welcome to meet me in my neighborhood, but that I was on too much of an artistic kick to travel. (He’s an artist, so I didn’t expect this to be weird for him to hear at all). And apparently, it wasn’t weird for him, because he got in a car and drove over.
I invited him into my house and I knew that he must have been sure, in his own mind, that we would be having sex. After all, we’ve been friends for a while now. He knows about my other ‘hook ups’ and I know about his. We’ve expressed a mutual attraction for each other and then to top it all off, here I was blowing off actual plans and just inviting him back to my house instead.
We hung out, shooting the sh*t. It was late. Really late. We ordered in food and watched HBO. There was no alcohol to be found.
He eventually made his way over to sit on the floor in front of me, then reached behind his head to play with my hair. Ahh, the first physical embrace. (Doesn’t that anticipation suck?)
But there was nothing more. I was getting sleepy and wanted to go to my bed. I told him he could stay over, knowing this was making him POSITIVE that he would get laid. But, as our bodies drew closer to one another, I made up my mind: I would cuddle with him and maybe kiss him, but I wouldn’t let ANYthing else happen. No sex. No oral. Not even heavy petting.
I didn’t decide this for ‘self-respect’ reasons or anything of the sort. Rather, I wanted to make a point. This guy seems to get girls everywhere he goes and I wanted to be the girl he couldn’t get right away. And so I was. And it was f*cking empowering. In the morning, he asked me to go to the movies and then lunch with him. And we left it at that.
I feel better about myself than ever. I still maintain that when I want to have sex – both emotionally and physically – right away, I do it. And I feel good about it. This time, though, I wasn’t ready emotionally to have sex with him and nothing makes me more proud than following my gut.
Maybe one day he’ll be able to say that he did have sex with me…but regardless, he’ll always have to say that I made him wait.
[photo from: metro.co.uk]

He Said/She Said: Are Thongs Really The Way To Go?
He Said/She Said: Are Thongs Really The Way To Go?
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