Project Runway Rundown: It’s a Jungle Out There

Last week, as I laughed during an episode of Project Runway for the first time all season, I felt a glimmer of hope that this season may finally be turning around. But as I watched last night’s episode while simultaneously surfing Facebook and talking on AIM cuz I was so damn bored, I came to the realization that last week was a fluke.

This season indeed sucks.

Sure, there are a few moments of hilarity (like when Terri, referring to Suede, said, “I don’t know what he’s packing…balls or vajajay. I don’t need no one sucking on my tit, so, please, man up.”), but this season really doesn’t stack up next to the those of our past.

Last night’s episode was yet another opportunity for Bravo/NBC to promote one of its products. Brooke Shields was the judge and the challenge was for the designers to create an outfit for her character to wear on Lipstick Jungle. Which is an NBC show. NBC owns Bravo.

See how they did that? See how they took one of their bigger shows on the network (Project Runway) and used it to promote one of their dying shows (Lipstick Jungle)? I am surprised they didn’t have to also incorporate some sort of GE product into the ensemble.

The designers were THRILLED at the opportunity to have their design worn on national TV, but little did they know that no one watches Lipstick Jungle and…their designs have been on national TV for the past 5 weeks.

Anyways, to add drama to the already annoying episode, this challenge was a team challenge, and everyone would be working in teams of two. I was not surprised when Stella was chosen last; after all, they were supposed to be creating a business ensemble and not an outfit to be worn to a tattoo parlor.

But, to my surprise, Stella and Jerell turned out to be quite a pairing and created a pretty sweet outfit. The problem team actually turned out to be Terri and Suede. We saw a completely new side of Suede – a not so cocky side – and one where he actually speaks in first person!

He couldn’t cut it (literally…he couldn’t cut the damn fabric) and totally melted down. But, Terri pulled it all together and finished the outfit. She loved it. I thought it belonged in Boca, but as long as Terri is happy; I wouldn’t wanna be on that bitch’s bad side.

The runway varied a lot; from slutty to casual to simply fabulous. In the end, the judges chose Keith and Kenley as the winner. The dress was beautiful and I would totally rock that…if I didn’t work from home…in my pajamas.

The losing design belonged to Kelli and Daniel. It was trampy, and slutty and looked like something Peggy Bundy would have worn on Married with Children. Seriously; that sh*t was ugly. The judges questioned Kelli’s level of taste (or if she had any at all) before giving her the boot. I really enjoyed Kelli (well, out of the low quality batch of designers this season), so I was sad to see her go.

Let’s see what crap Project Runway comes up with next week. Not that I care – I’d rather be watching Olympic rowing. For real.

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